Life Purpose Revisited

Lately I had the chance to ponder again on my life's purpose.

Was telling my friend just now as he was sending me back that I thought I found my purpose when I was back in Korea. And I thought God wanted me to come back that's why I'm here. But it seems that after coming back I've lost my purpose. So did I really find my purpose in the first place?

Probably I'm a little disillusioned by all the uncertainties that I'm facing.

But last night as I was attending Dr. Rody's conference, he mentioned that there's a difference between "interest" and "passion". He goes on the explain that "interest" is related more to our intelectual aspect while "passion" is strongly connected with our emosion.

I've always said that it's hard for me to make decision because I'm interested in so many things. But come to think of it, what am I passionate about?

While I was still in uni, I wanted to be involved with missionary work, probably full time, but more as a tentmaker. And I thought that was my calling or purpose.

Come back to think of it, the reason I worked part time with the Korean company was with the hope that the business will be suceesful and I can raise fund for mission work. I've been looking forward to this during the last year of my uni life but when the business stopped abruptly after 2 months of my graduation, I lost my direction.

That was when I began to ponder whether I should get rid of my JPA bond or wait for them to call me back and work for the government. I was undecisive over this matter because though the pay in the public sector is not high, it is a place where I can try to make a difference. The thought of getting rid of the bond so that I can remain in the private sector which offers me a higher pay also crossed my mind. I was also weighing the pros and cons of staying in this two different sector in the long run, i.e till I retire, taking into calculation EPF and pension plan.

What I missed when making these calculation is my life's purpose and my calling. My interest in changing the public sector and making it more productive and efficient blurred me from my passion- making a change in people's life, especially for those who are in need in China and Middle East.

If I go into the public sector, it's not impossible but it'll be hard for me to go to China or Middle East. Of course if God wants me to be in the government sector first I'm sure He'll provide a way, or I can change career later on after a few years.

But what is more intellectually sound is to remain in the private sector and seek opportunities to work in those countries. Or getting another Master qualification before going there.

-Time will Tell-