Today is Malaysia's independence day. But to be exact, it's Malaya's independence day. Malaysia was formed on 16 September 1963. Anyway, the merdeka spirit is still up and about, and I'm proud of it.
Though Malaysia did not win any medals in Olympics, we still stand tall in the eyes of the world. Here's a little "comfort".
Nearing the end of my holidays. Wasn't able to accomplish much. Spent most of the time at home with my family and relatives. Did manage to watch Alien vs Predator, though. It reminds me of a computer games I used to play, Starcraft. The aliens are like the Zergs while the predators are like the Protoss.No matter who win, we loss. But at the end the humans sided with the protoss.
Truthfully, I'm quite excited about going overseas to study. It's the dream of lots of people. I was longing for a chance as well. I wanted to go as far as I could back then when I just finished my SPM. What's more, I'm going to one of the top universities in Asia. But 4 months of being away from home have taught me not to be so optimistic, especially in dealings with people. Maybe I'm letting the one bad experience I had haunting me, but then....
Well, there's just too much uncertainties that lies ahead, and I don't like the feeling of not knowing what to expect and what will happen.
But I'll take it as a test of patience and faith. After all, isn't faith about believing in something we do not see?
Tuesday, August 31, 2004
Saturday, August 28, 2004
Home Sweet Home
I'm now back at home enjoying the haze and hot weather in Kuching.
Anyway, it's good to be back. Sleeping on my soft, comfortable bed with 3 pillows; waking up at 9.30am in the morning; having nothing much to worry.... it's just a luxury.
But I fell kind of strange, having nothing to do seem so weird. But I better enjoy and relax while I can. God knows what is in store for me in the days to come.
My mom and uncles have been talking about the death of my 2nd uncle. It seems that they're suspicious of his death. They think maybe something went wrong with the medication or the doctor did a mistake somewhere, and they keep on quoting cases where a person should be saved but died after the doctor gave them an injection or medicine.
It makes me think, how would I react if I were a doctor? I may blame myself for being careless; or blame the person for doing the check-up late; or just deny the whole thing.
Life as a doctor is not easy. But I know I have the heart and desire to help the sick. I believe I'd bring joy to my patiet and make them feel being cared for. I can cheer them up and make them forget of their pains with my lovely smile : )
Yet it seems that I'm taking a totally different path.......
Anyway, I'm trying to finish 1 or 2 books during this week-long holiday. 1. The Jesus I Never Knew by Philip Yancey and 2. Not Even a Hint by Joshua Harris
Anyway, it's good to be back. Sleeping on my soft, comfortable bed with 3 pillows; waking up at 9.30am in the morning; having nothing much to worry.... it's just a luxury.
But I fell kind of strange, having nothing to do seem so weird. But I better enjoy and relax while I can. God knows what is in store for me in the days to come.
My mom and uncles have been talking about the death of my 2nd uncle. It seems that they're suspicious of his death. They think maybe something went wrong with the medication or the doctor did a mistake somewhere, and they keep on quoting cases where a person should be saved but died after the doctor gave them an injection or medicine.
It makes me think, how would I react if I were a doctor? I may blame myself for being careless; or blame the person for doing the check-up late; or just deny the whole thing.
Life as a doctor is not easy. But I know I have the heart and desire to help the sick. I believe I'd bring joy to my patiet and make them feel being cared for. I can cheer them up and make them forget of their pains with my lovely smile : )
Yet it seems that I'm taking a totally different path.......
Anyway, I'm trying to finish 1 or 2 books during this week-long holiday. 1. The Jesus I Never Knew by Philip Yancey and 2. Not Even a Hint by Joshua Harris
Wednesday, August 25, 2004
Korean Day
Hooray!!!
Our Korean Day was indeed a success. Well, though there were some mistakes here and there, but overall everyone did very well. This was the best among all the practice and rehearsal. I was especially surprise yet happy at the same time to see the songs team performing better than I expected.
The number of audience was also very encouraging. There were people from the French Program, Russian Program and AUSMAT students. Our one-year-older seniors were also present to join our Korean Day.
The saddest thing was, I brought my camera, but the battery was too weak. So in the end I wasn't able to take any photos.
Today is officially my last day in INTEC. It's amazing how things over these 3 months have been. When I first arrived here, I was missing my friends in Labuan and I just didn't seem to be able to get along well here. Thus I spent most of my time studying.
Yet after 3 months here, I met lots of friends, Max, Alvin, Yi Li, Johnathan, Zi Hui, Daniel, Wei Xian, Ivy, Billy, Herman, Rose, Jimi..... And know I'll be missing them instead.
I'm also getting along well with the others in my own program. Maybe it's because we've worked together in many things: BTN Camp and Korean Day for example.
But, ironically, I've put in less effort in my studies compared to when I first came here. But by God's grace, I manage to do exceedingly well in my exam. Praise His name.
But no matter what happens, life still goes on. Whether we're sad or happy time does not wait for us to laugh or mourn. The thing that we ought to do is strengthen ourselves, carry on with our lives and prepare for the challenges ahead.
Our Korean Day was indeed a success. Well, though there were some mistakes here and there, but overall everyone did very well. This was the best among all the practice and rehearsal. I was especially surprise yet happy at the same time to see the songs team performing better than I expected.
The number of audience was also very encouraging. There were people from the French Program, Russian Program and AUSMAT students. Our one-year-older seniors were also present to join our Korean Day.
The saddest thing was, I brought my camera, but the battery was too weak. So in the end I wasn't able to take any photos.
Today is officially my last day in INTEC. It's amazing how things over these 3 months have been. When I first arrived here, I was missing my friends in Labuan and I just didn't seem to be able to get along well here. Thus I spent most of my time studying.
Yet after 3 months here, I met lots of friends, Max, Alvin, Yi Li, Johnathan, Zi Hui, Daniel, Wei Xian, Ivy, Billy, Herman, Rose, Jimi..... And know I'll be missing them instead.
I'm also getting along well with the others in my own program. Maybe it's because we've worked together in many things: BTN Camp and Korean Day for example.
But, ironically, I've put in less effort in my studies compared to when I first came here. But by God's grace, I manage to do exceedingly well in my exam. Praise His name.
But no matter what happens, life still goes on. Whether we're sad or happy time does not wait for us to laugh or mourn. The thing that we ought to do is strengthen ourselves, carry on with our lives and prepare for the challenges ahead.
Tuesday, August 24, 2004
Death
Got the news yesterday afternoon that my mom's second brother passed away at 3 p.m. I would have long to be at home at such a time, but my things here are not finish and I've bought the ticket on 26/8. Ah~~
It never occur to me that I'd receive such a news at such a time.
But frankly I wasn't shocked to hear such a news. We all know that where there is a beginning, there is an end. Where there is life, there is death. Life on this earth is but a short period. Yet it is during this period that we determine where our eternal spirit goes to when we are no longer here.
Death, I've seen quite a lot within this month alone, and will be seeing many more in the years to come. Though death is no surprise for me, yet my heart hurts seeing many people uncertain of where they'll be should calamity befalls. What is there to be done about it?
" Am I cold-hearted and cruel?" This is a question I've been asking myself. I don't think I am. Yet why am I not in deep sorrow when my uncle who stays one street down from me pass away?
I do not have an exact answer. Perhaps deep within me I have this little assurance that I'll be seeing him again.
It never occur to me that I'd receive such a news at such a time.
But frankly I wasn't shocked to hear such a news. We all know that where there is a beginning, there is an end. Where there is life, there is death. Life on this earth is but a short period. Yet it is during this period that we determine where our eternal spirit goes to when we are no longer here.
Death, I've seen quite a lot within this month alone, and will be seeing many more in the years to come. Though death is no surprise for me, yet my heart hurts seeing many people uncertain of where they'll be should calamity befalls. What is there to be done about it?
" Am I cold-hearted and cruel?" This is a question I've been asking myself. I don't think I am. Yet why am I not in deep sorrow when my uncle who stays one street down from me pass away?
I do not have an exact answer. Perhaps deep within me I have this little assurance that I'll be seeing him again.
Sunday, August 22, 2004
Biro Tatanegara (BTN) Camp
I always thought that BTN Camps are held in some junglish places and we'll be sleeping in tents with lots of mosquitoes ready to charge at the campers. Well, I was wrong.
We were actually suppose to go to a BTN Campsite in Banting, but due to some problems, we were moved to a private campsite in Sepang, right beside the highway.
The facilities there are definitely better than my hostel, there were air-cond in every rooms. We were served 5 meals a day, to which I was hoping will make me gain some weight, but to no avail.
We had 4 lectures and 8 group activities. I was indeed very happy to see my fellow coursemates being active throughout the camp. Frankly, I thought I'd be spending more time with those in the French programme. But as it turned out, I was in my room most of the time , talking to my roommates, who are also my coursemates. We had so much free time I even manage to finish a book!
As a whole, the camp was good, it refreshed my knowledge of Malaysia. But above all, it builds up the relationship among the campers.
The camp ended with a test. Hopefully I'll passed it. As long as I have no phone calls from my sponsors, I'll be flying off on 2 September.
We were actually suppose to go to a BTN Campsite in Banting, but due to some problems, we were moved to a private campsite in Sepang, right beside the highway.
The facilities there are definitely better than my hostel, there were air-cond in every rooms. We were served 5 meals a day, to which I was hoping will make me gain some weight, but to no avail.
We had 4 lectures and 8 group activities. I was indeed very happy to see my fellow coursemates being active throughout the camp. Frankly, I thought I'd be spending more time with those in the French programme. But as it turned out, I was in my room most of the time , talking to my roommates, who are also my coursemates. We had so much free time I even manage to finish a book!
As a whole, the camp was good, it refreshed my knowledge of Malaysia. But above all, it builds up the relationship among the campers.
The camp ended with a test. Hopefully I'll passed it. As long as I have no phone calls from my sponsors, I'll be flying off on 2 September.
Wednesday, August 18, 2004
Preparing for the Worse
Well, I've prepared myself mentally to accept any unexpected stuff during the 5-day BTN Camp which starts this afternoon. Hopefully I'd be able to pull through it and come out in one piece...
Today reminds me of the orientation I had bout 2 months ago. There was also this morning that we were free and I went to a cyber cafe with Rose and another guy, Peter if I remember correctly.
I know I'm being sentimental but I just can't help it.
3 months ago I was only prepared to say "goodbye" to all my secondary school's friends. Yet now I had to bid farewell to the friends I met in Kolej Matrikulasi Labuan and soon all the friends I have in INTEC here.
Here's something I came across recently:
Forgive each other
Refresh each other
Invest in each other
Encourage each other
Nurture each other
Depend on each other
Share with each other
Help each other
Inspire each other
Pray for each other
Today reminds me of the orientation I had bout 2 months ago. There was also this morning that we were free and I went to a cyber cafe with Rose and another guy, Peter if I remember correctly.
I know I'm being sentimental but I just can't help it.
3 months ago I was only prepared to say "goodbye" to all my secondary school's friends. Yet now I had to bid farewell to the friends I met in Kolej Matrikulasi Labuan and soon all the friends I have in INTEC here.
Here's something I came across recently:
Forgive each other
Refresh each other
Invest in each other
Encourage each other
Nurture each other
Depend on each other
Share with each other
Help each other
Inspire each other
Pray for each other
Tuesday, August 17, 2004
Exam
Just finished my Korean exam today. So now I can at least sit back and relax for few weeks before having to do any study (not that I did much study anyway, but I'll try to do better.)
Well, frankly I think I did quite well for the exam this morning, considering the amount of time I spent doing my revision.
But we still have our speaking test once we arrive in Korea.
Hopefully I do well in it. I really want the incentive provided by Seoul National University.
Just to make things clear:
We'll be studying 6 levels of Korean, and if we manage to get 90% and above for 5 consecutive levels (which is hard but not impossible), we'll be awarded with 1/2 the tuition fee for the next level, which I still don't exactly know how much, but better than none.
Today is the last day I'll be seeing the ALMs, and I'm really overcome with emotions. Even when I was having my exam I was thinking about them.
To all ALMs:
farewell and God bless
Well, frankly I think I did quite well for the exam this morning, considering the amount of time I spent doing my revision.
But we still have our speaking test once we arrive in Korea.
Hopefully I do well in it. I really want the incentive provided by Seoul National University.
Just to make things clear:
We'll be studying 6 levels of Korean, and if we manage to get 90% and above for 5 consecutive levels (which is hard but not impossible), we'll be awarded with 1/2 the tuition fee for the next level, which I still don't exactly know how much, but better than none.
Today is the last day I'll be seeing the ALMs, and I'm really overcome with emotions. Even when I was having my exam I was thinking about them.
To all ALMs:
farewell and God bless
Poisoned
Saturday 3.00a.m
Was preparing myself for bed.
Had a fun night in Cyber Jaya. After all, this is the last time I attend the cell group. I doubt that I'll be joining it again six years later when I come back from Korea.
Saturday 5.00a.m
Arrggg!!!!
There was this unbearable pain in my stomach.
My intestine and stomach was squirming inside, turning and twisting here and there.
"Never mind, get back to sleep, this is just another nightmare." I was telling myself. "How can my stomach hurt so much unless I'm dreaming. After all,I think I had this dream before, few weeks ago."
Never the less, the pain never decreased. It was getting worse and worse.
" O God! Stop this pain! I know if You're willing to You can!"
Yet there was another "suggestion" that arose in my mind, "Look, the balcony is just a few steps from you and it's not closed, just jump down from it. You'll just die and be in heaven and the pain will be gone. Isn't that wonderful?"
This suggestion seemed so tempting that I was actually considering it. Yet before I could take any action, another idea pop up in my mind :
" Just take some panadols. It's a pain killer. It will take care of the pain."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
And so I knocked at my grandma's room and asked her for some panadols. Yet it didn't do much good.
As my aunt and grandma was going to the doctor that morning, I went with them and got the confirmation from the doctor that I had food poisoning.
And thus the last Saturday that I could roam around in KL was spent taking medicine and resting at home.
Was preparing myself for bed.
Had a fun night in Cyber Jaya. After all, this is the last time I attend the cell group. I doubt that I'll be joining it again six years later when I come back from Korea.
Saturday 5.00a.m
Arrggg!!!!
There was this unbearable pain in my stomach.
My intestine and stomach was squirming inside, turning and twisting here and there.
"Never mind, get back to sleep, this is just another nightmare." I was telling myself. "How can my stomach hurt so much unless I'm dreaming. After all,I think I had this dream before, few weeks ago."
Never the less, the pain never decreased. It was getting worse and worse.
" O God! Stop this pain! I know if You're willing to You can!"
Yet there was another "suggestion" that arose in my mind, "Look, the balcony is just a few steps from you and it's not closed, just jump down from it. You'll just die and be in heaven and the pain will be gone. Isn't that wonderful?"
This suggestion seemed so tempting that I was actually considering it. Yet before I could take any action, another idea pop up in my mind :
" Just take some panadols. It's a pain killer. It will take care of the pain."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
And so I knocked at my grandma's room and asked her for some panadols. Yet it didn't do much good.
As my aunt and grandma was going to the doctor that morning, I went with them and got the confirmation from the doctor that I had food poisoning.
And thus the last Saturday that I could roam around in KL was spent taking medicine and resting at home.
Thursday, August 12, 2004
A Friend
Since the first day I came here, I've been asking God to give me a friend whom I can really relate to. And last night I've just met one. But ironically, he'll be having his holidays soon while I'll be away for my camp and I'm flying off in 3 weeks time.
I was having dinner with Wei Sian last night. We were talking there after dinner when he came to have his dinner as well.
Seeing that he was alone, I "forced" him to join us. The three of us were just talking and debating about praying for our food, going into mission, doing devotions etc etc etc.
Wanting to spend more time together, the two of us went for ABC after dinner.
And I guess that was when our relationship started to build.
Yet deep within I can't hide the fact that I feel sad because here is someone whom I really like, whom I can share my thoughts with,whom I can relate to, but we'll be heading separate paths soon.
I don't understand. If God wanted us to be friends, why not sooner? Why now?
But who am I to question God. He's timing is never wrong.
His experience is that he got closer with his former friends after being apart. Yet from my experience it's the other way round.
Well, may be as he'd said:"We'll meet in heaven."
I was having dinner with Wei Sian last night. We were talking there after dinner when he came to have his dinner as well.
Seeing that he was alone, I "forced" him to join us. The three of us were just talking and debating about praying for our food, going into mission, doing devotions etc etc etc.
Wanting to spend more time together, the two of us went for ABC after dinner.
And I guess that was when our relationship started to build.
Yet deep within I can't hide the fact that I feel sad because here is someone whom I really like, whom I can share my thoughts with,whom I can relate to, but we'll be heading separate paths soon.
I don't understand. If God wanted us to be friends, why not sooner? Why now?
But who am I to question God. He's timing is never wrong.
His experience is that he got closer with his former friends after being apart. Yet from my experience it's the other way round.
Well, may be as he'd said:"We'll meet in heaven."
Wednesday, August 11, 2004
LATE!!!
For the first time, as far as I can recall, I woke up late for class, and I mean REALLY late.
It's still bothering me, how did I ever manage to wake up at 9.50a.m when my class starts at 9a.m?
It's not like I slept late or what, I was already in bed at 11p.m last night!!
But fortunately my lecturer didn't get angry at me. She was actually QUITE shock seeing me knocking at the door with my uncombed hair at 10.15a.m in the morning.
Well, better late than never isn't?
3 more weeks before I leave for Korea.
I've been unconscience of the passing time. It's hard to imagine that I've been here for nearly 3 months.
What have I accomplish?
I didn't do my maths revision well enough and I don't think I did it well during the test just now. It's too late for me to do anything.
But, there's still my Korean language exam next week. Hopefully I'll do well in it.
It's still bothering me, how did I ever manage to wake up at 9.50a.m when my class starts at 9a.m?
It's not like I slept late or what, I was already in bed at 11p.m last night!!
But fortunately my lecturer didn't get angry at me. She was actually QUITE shock seeing me knocking at the door with my uncombed hair at 10.15a.m in the morning.
Well, better late than never isn't?
3 more weeks before I leave for Korea.
I've been unconscience of the passing time. It's hard to imagine that I've been here for nearly 3 months.
What have I accomplish?
I didn't do my maths revision well enough and I don't think I did it well during the test just now. It's too late for me to do anything.
But, there's still my Korean language exam next week. Hopefully I'll do well in it.
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