List of books that I have but have yet to finish reading:
1. The Spiritual Secret of Hudson Taylor
2. Bario Revival
3. Secrets to Prevailing Prayer
4. Faith and Doubt
5. Boy Meets Girl
6. The Heavenly Man
7. Jesus Column (Korean)
8. Ready to Love (translated from Korean)
9. In His Step
10. A Blind Eye
11. God is a Matchmaker
12. Knowing God
13. Ugly Women Destroy the Country (Korean)
I'm sure I'll somehow ending up buying new books in 2011. Let's see how much of the above I can finish before 2011 ends.
Friday, December 31, 2010
Thursday, December 02, 2010
Last Day of Work
My first official last day of work.
I have 2 weeks notice, but because I have 5.5 days of leave today is my last day in office.
I have plans in mind, but I shall wait till I spend time talking to God.
It's not an easy task, considering that I'm the hyperactive type who'll want to take things into my own hand.
But I shall wait on God.
Hopefully He doesn't make me wait too long.
Recently a friend of mine who is contemplating about his career had this verse from God:
Psalm 28
Of David.
1 To you, LORD, I call;
you are my Rock,
do not turn a deaf ear to me.
For if you remain silent,
I will be like those who go down to the pit.
2 Hear my cry for mercy
as I call to you for help,
as I lift up my hands
toward your Most Holy Place.
I guess now is the time for me to call out to God. I'm sure He will not turn a deaf ear to me. Just that I'm nervous that He'll make me wait for an extended period of time..
God,
I want to trust in your guidance.
Give me the patience and faith to trust in You.
You have been gracious to me all these while.
Let me trust in Your unfailing faithfulness again.
I pray that even as I wait upon Your guidance You will open the doors for me.
In Jesus' Name
Amen
I have 2 weeks notice, but because I have 5.5 days of leave today is my last day in office.
I have plans in mind, but I shall wait till I spend time talking to God.
It's not an easy task, considering that I'm the hyperactive type who'll want to take things into my own hand.
But I shall wait on God.
Hopefully He doesn't make me wait too long.
Recently a friend of mine who is contemplating about his career had this verse from God:
Psalm 28
Of David.
1 To you, LORD, I call;
you are my Rock,
do not turn a deaf ear to me.
For if you remain silent,
I will be like those who go down to the pit.
2 Hear my cry for mercy
as I call to you for help,
as I lift up my hands
toward your Most Holy Place.
I guess now is the time for me to call out to God. I'm sure He will not turn a deaf ear to me. Just that I'm nervous that He'll make me wait for an extended period of time..
God,
I want to trust in your guidance.
Give me the patience and faith to trust in You.
You have been gracious to me all these while.
Let me trust in Your unfailing faithfulness again.
I pray that even as I wait upon Your guidance You will open the doors for me.
In Jesus' Name
Amen
Monday, November 29, 2010
Handed in my Letter
Officially handed in my letter to my boss.
Been thinking, talking, praying about it. Decision was made last week. But we agreed to send in the letter today.
So now I need to wait on God.
I want to wait on God.
Spending time to seek His direction and guidance before I make my next move.
Many people will not understand the decision I make.
Guess a lot of time the journey I've chosen is a lonely one.
Went to BASF Malaysia Sdn Bhd in Bukit Jelutong this morning.
It's a program BASC do for new joiners. But I didn't manage to go the past few times due to lack of man power in my team. Hmm..6 months. Fast? or Slow?
Been thinking, talking, praying about it. Decision was made last week. But we agreed to send in the letter today.
So now I need to wait on God.
I want to wait on God.
Spending time to seek His direction and guidance before I make my next move.
Many people will not understand the decision I make.
Guess a lot of time the journey I've chosen is a lonely one.
Went to BASF Malaysia Sdn Bhd in Bukit Jelutong this morning.
It's a program BASC do for new joiners. But I didn't manage to go the past few times due to lack of man power in my team. Hmm..6 months. Fast? or Slow?
Friday, November 26, 2010
Discover Our Calling in Life
Making choices without considering God is easier. I don't have to worry whether I'm making the right or wrong choices. Just make the most sound and correct choice and don't regret about it.
But when I put God in the picture things get a bit more complicated. I want to make the right choices in God's sight. But I'm not able to discern which is the correct one. The most sound and decent option by man's standard may not be what God has in mind.
Probably it is fear. Fear that I've made the wrong choices. Like the decisions that I've made recently regarding my career. I really don't want to do something if I know it's not from God. I prayed, I tried to wait on Him, I asked people to pray for me. But I still don't know. Then the night before I had to make a decision I had a strange dream. Was that a sign from God? Or was it just a random thought? I've never made any decision base on my dream. My brother says that my decision was due to a lack of faith. But he didn't know that the whole day I was trying to do what he thought was right. If God had given me the slightest indication I would have gladly done so. But none of that came. I only had a strange dream from the night before.
Today one of my colleague send me a link on a sermon her husband preached recently, called Discover Your Life Calling. It suggested 5 questions to help people discover their calling:
1. What do you feel joy doing?
2. What are you good at doing?
3. What do you feel are the biggest needs of the people around you?
4. What is your unique personality?
5. What do your trusted friends say?
But what spoke to me more was this paragraph:
God,
If I've made the wrong choices please forgive me. Kindly guide me back to the path that You've intended. Even as I face new challenges and need to make new decisions everyday, I pray that You'll give me a discerning mind and an obedient heart.
Probably it's not biblical, but I pray that You'll close the doors that are not from You till I am more mature to discern which open door is from You.
Help me O God.
In Jesus' Name
Amen
But when I put God in the picture things get a bit more complicated. I want to make the right choices in God's sight. But I'm not able to discern which is the correct one. The most sound and decent option by man's standard may not be what God has in mind.
Probably it is fear. Fear that I've made the wrong choices. Like the decisions that I've made recently regarding my career. I really don't want to do something if I know it's not from God. I prayed, I tried to wait on Him, I asked people to pray for me. But I still don't know. Then the night before I had to make a decision I had a strange dream. Was that a sign from God? Or was it just a random thought? I've never made any decision base on my dream. My brother says that my decision was due to a lack of faith. But he didn't know that the whole day I was trying to do what he thought was right. If God had given me the slightest indication I would have gladly done so. But none of that came. I only had a strange dream from the night before.
Today one of my colleague send me a link on a sermon her husband preached recently, called Discover Your Life Calling. It suggested 5 questions to help people discover their calling:
1. What do you feel joy doing?
2. What are you good at doing?
3. What do you feel are the biggest needs of the people around you?
4. What is your unique personality?
5. What do your trusted friends say?
But what spoke to me more was this paragraph:
Having said that, our focus should not be just on methods to discern God's will. We are to trust in God Himself. There is no system that ensures you never make mistakes, but we can rely on a God of grace who will guide us and teach us even when we make mistakes. He is big enough to rescue us and lift us up when we fall. Otherwise, we would live in constant fear, always searching for the perfect formula for discovering God's will so we won't make any mistakes.
God,
If I've made the wrong choices please forgive me. Kindly guide me back to the path that You've intended. Even as I face new challenges and need to make new decisions everyday, I pray that You'll give me a discerning mind and an obedient heart.
Probably it's not biblical, but I pray that You'll close the doors that are not from You till I am more mature to discern which open door is from You.
Help me O God.
In Jesus' Name
Amen
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
The Inner Witness
Been going through some confusion lately. Not sure where is God leading me in my career and not sure how to make decisions cause I'm not sure which is the 'correct' decision.
On the way back from prayer meeting yesterday my brother was saying that sometimes we focus too much on our prayer items that we do not focus enough on God. He was also asking me how much time I spend waiting on Him.
Coincidentally or miraculously today as I do my devotion the article was on this issue of hearing from God.
The Inner Witness
Do you ever have trouble hearing from God? Do you find yourself caught in confusing circumstances needing guidance, and yet even after praying and reading the Word- you're still not sure what God wants you to do?
I've had that experience. I knew His written Word and acting on it changed my life. But I was uncertain when I had to make decisions about things the Word didn't specifically address. Things like whether to move to one city or another, for example.
What held me back was my ability to know that I was doing the right thing. You see, God's written Word and the inward witness are two different things. They never contradict each other, but they're both a vital part of our walk with God.
God expected Israel, for example to obey His written Word. But He also said to them, "Obey my voice" (Jer 7:23) because He wanted them to know His will in specific situations That's what happened when Israel invaded Jericho...
..But exactly how, you may wonder, does God speak to us? Does He just shout down to us from heaven?
Not usually! Romans 8 says the Holy Spirit bears witness with our spirit. That means that God's directions come from inside, not outside, of you.
At times when you hear His guidance, you may even wonder, "Was that me, Lord, or was that You?" That's because God doesn't normally inject thoughts directly into your mind from the outside. Instead, He speaks to your spirit, and your spirit translates it into a thought.
Tune in today to that inward witness, to that quiet knowing, that urging, prompting and leading arising within you.
If when you hear it, it sounds like you, don't be surprised. It is you! It is your spirit being influenced by the Spirit of God! After you're born again, your spirit is a safe guide because you are born of God's Spirit. You have His nature. And the Holy Spirit lives in your spirit to teach you and to give you direction.
Gloria
From Faith To Faith
A Daily Guide To Victory
On the way back from prayer meeting yesterday my brother was saying that sometimes we focus too much on our prayer items that we do not focus enough on God. He was also asking me how much time I spend waiting on Him.
Coincidentally or miraculously today as I do my devotion the article was on this issue of hearing from God.
The Inner Witness
Do you ever have trouble hearing from God? Do you find yourself caught in confusing circumstances needing guidance, and yet even after praying and reading the Word- you're still not sure what God wants you to do?
I've had that experience. I knew His written Word and acting on it changed my life. But I was uncertain when I had to make decisions about things the Word didn't specifically address. Things like whether to move to one city or another, for example.
What held me back was my ability to know that I was doing the right thing. You see, God's written Word and the inward witness are two different things. They never contradict each other, but they're both a vital part of our walk with God.
God expected Israel, for example to obey His written Word. But He also said to them, "Obey my voice" (Jer 7:23) because He wanted them to know His will in specific situations That's what happened when Israel invaded Jericho...
..But exactly how, you may wonder, does God speak to us? Does He just shout down to us from heaven?
Not usually! Romans 8 says the Holy Spirit bears witness with our spirit. That means that God's directions come from inside, not outside, of you.
At times when you hear His guidance, you may even wonder, "Was that me, Lord, or was that You?" That's because God doesn't normally inject thoughts directly into your mind from the outside. Instead, He speaks to your spirit, and your spirit translates it into a thought.
Tune in today to that inward witness, to that quiet knowing, that urging, prompting and leading arising within you.
If when you hear it, it sounds like you, don't be surprised. It is you! It is your spirit being influenced by the Spirit of God! After you're born again, your spirit is a safe guide because you are born of God's Spirit. You have His nature. And the Holy Spirit lives in your spirit to teach you and to give you direction.
Gloria
From Faith To Faith
A Daily Guide To Victory
Wednesday, November 03, 2010
Guidance
I guess even as I pray for God's guidance, I need to believe and trust that He is guiding me.
Monday, November 01, 2010
CrossOver
Had a wonderful weekend with my cell group in Penang.
It was our Friends 2 Cell Group Retreat.
But rather than making it just a playful fun holiday trip, the core decided that there should be more meaningful and spiritual significance to it. Which I agree.
So it was a retreat where we reflected on Joshua chapter 3 and 4, how God is and has brought us out of our Egypt and across our Jordan. It was also there that we launched our new cell name-CrossOver and got our personalized cell t-shirt.
It was a great time for us to do some reflection on how and what God is doing in our lifes.
For me personally it was quite good, looking and remembering how faithful God has been throughout my life.
It feels kind of strange that although I can see that God has been leading me all this while yet when I face with new challenges and decisions I still feel anxious and uncertain.
I need to train myself to turn my focus from the issues at hand to God.
Trusting that God has the best intention for me in mind and that His plans will prevail.
Father,
Thank you for all the wonderful things You've done in my life.
Thank you for the different experience that You've brought me through.
Even as I continue to face new and different challenges in life,
help me to trust in You and rely on You to bring me through.
In Jesus' Name,
Amen
It was our Friends 2 Cell Group Retreat.
But rather than making it just a playful fun holiday trip, the core decided that there should be more meaningful and spiritual significance to it. Which I agree.
So it was a retreat where we reflected on Joshua chapter 3 and 4, how God is and has brought us out of our Egypt and across our Jordan. It was also there that we launched our new cell name-CrossOver and got our personalized cell t-shirt.
It was a great time for us to do some reflection on how and what God is doing in our lifes.
For me personally it was quite good, looking and remembering how faithful God has been throughout my life.
It feels kind of strange that although I can see that God has been leading me all this while yet when I face with new challenges and decisions I still feel anxious and uncertain.
I need to train myself to turn my focus from the issues at hand to God.
Trusting that God has the best intention for me in mind and that His plans will prevail.
Father,
Thank you for all the wonderful things You've done in my life.
Thank you for the different experience that You've brought me through.
Even as I continue to face new and different challenges in life,
help me to trust in You and rely on You to bring me through.
In Jesus' Name,
Amen
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Career Path
As I sat in the LRT this morning on my way to work I was thinking to myself that my career path is so unpredictable and because there are so many things that I don't know about the future, I can't plan too far ahead and I need to rely on God to guide me a step at a time.
I was with a company that was interested to do property development in Malaysia for more than 2 years.
Then I came to a shared service centre.
And I don't see myself doing any engineering related job in the near future.
If the government calls, I'll most likely be a PTD in Putrajaya.
I don't really know what's the long term plan God has for me in His mind.
I'm not sure how the skills and experience that He's bringing me through will play a part in the future.
But I believe that He has something in store for me and though I feel that it's a bit of a waste that my engineering knowledge that I studied so hard in university is not being put to use, I need to continue to trust in Him.
God,
May you mould me into the vessel that best suits Your purpose.
In Jesus' Name
Amen
I was with a company that was interested to do property development in Malaysia for more than 2 years.
Then I came to a shared service centre.
And I don't see myself doing any engineering related job in the near future.
If the government calls, I'll most likely be a PTD in Putrajaya.
I don't really know what's the long term plan God has for me in His mind.
I'm not sure how the skills and experience that He's bringing me through will play a part in the future.
But I believe that He has something in store for me and though I feel that it's a bit of a waste that my engineering knowledge that I studied so hard in university is not being put to use, I need to continue to trust in Him.
God,
May you mould me into the vessel that best suits Your purpose.
In Jesus' Name
Amen
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Pizza Dinner
Somethings cannot be put into words. But some words will bring to mind the memories for the person involved.
Took a shower in office (no water to my house for few days) and was on my way to KL Sentral to meet a sister from cell just now.
She's not going to prayer meeting tonight but offered to drop me at church.
When I was passing Abdullah Hukum my brother sms asking whether I want to have dinner together.
If I was already in KL Sentral probably I would have to say no, but since I was still on the way I was glad to accept the offer.
Interesting thing was that I didn't know her sister was joining us as well.
We went to a Pizza Shop near Bangsar and had dinner. The food was quite good despite the strange location on top of a stationary shop.
The sister somehow paid for the dinner, which I still don't know why...
But anyway as she was preparing for her exam she didn't follow us to prayer meeting.
On the way back home from prayer meeting I had a wonderful conversation with my brother.
I had been thinking of the monologue/dialogue for a few days but didn't think that I'd bring it up.
Interesting.
Thank you God for such blessed time today.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Releasing the Word
It's interesting and amazing to see how those around me receive words from God.
Hebrews 12:1-2 and Psalms 24:3-6
Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
look full in His wonderful face,
then hour by hour you will know His power,
then you know you have run a good race.
Give us CLEAN hands and a PURE heart.
He WILL receive the Lord's blessings.
Let us be the generation that seeks Him, O God of JACOB.
We shall not sell our birthrights for the things of the world.
Fix our eyes on Jesus!!!
One of my cellmates who's also attending URM
Before 3rd Service 10/10/10
Sermon for today was taken fr. Hebrews 12: 14-17
There is a stirring in the hears of the people as we pray.
It is like a baby in the womb, before the final birthing, there is major stirring in the body.
A birth of a new generation is about to happen.
Even before we have decided to go, He has already planted the seed and we will witness its birth.
One of our team member for Sabah Mission Trip.
During our 3rd training session on 19/08/10
We witnessed a scene of repentace that last took place during the revival 1977 revival in Kg. Meligan.
Hebrews 12:1-2 and Psalms 24:3-6
Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
look full in His wonderful face,
then hour by hour you will know His power,
then you know you have run a good race.
Give us CLEAN hands and a PURE heart.
He WILL receive the Lord's blessings.
Let us be the generation that seeks Him, O God of JACOB.
We shall not sell our birthrights for the things of the world.
Fix our eyes on Jesus!!!
One of my cellmates who's also attending URM
Before 3rd Service 10/10/10
Sermon for today was taken fr. Hebrews 12: 14-17
There is a stirring in the hears of the people as we pray.
It is like a baby in the womb, before the final birthing, there is major stirring in the body.
A birth of a new generation is about to happen.
Even before we have decided to go, He has already planted the seed and we will witness its birth.
One of our team member for Sabah Mission Trip.
During our 3rd training session on 19/08/10
We witnessed a scene of repentace that last took place during the revival 1977 revival in Kg. Meligan.
Saturday, October 02, 2010
Discernment in Prayer
Was at DUMC Prayer Confernce just now. Will probably blog about it after the whole thing finishes.
This entry I'd just like to focus on discernment in prayer.
During YA Camp there were a moment where we tried to discern what God is saying while praying for another person. So just now when I was praying for a brother, I asked God for discernment and I had a feeling to pray about a topic, but I wasn't sure whether that's just my thinking alone or that is actually from God.
But on our way back we had a short conversation and I guess my "discernment" wasn't too far off topic. Am quite excited that I can actually "hear" what God is trying to say and pray for another person.
When the brother prayed for me, he thank God for my passion and desire everything, but he prayed that above all I'll know God's love, and through knowing God's love that I'd know God's will for me.
When he said that I was reminded of what Ps. Lee Choo prayed for me during YA Camp. Though the wordings might be a bit different, but the core remains that I need to put more of God into myself and know God's love for me.
God, is that you speaking?
How then do I know your love?
By spending time with You in reading Your Word and prayer I guess.
Help me O God.
In Jesus' Name,
Amen
This entry I'd just like to focus on discernment in prayer.
During YA Camp there were a moment where we tried to discern what God is saying while praying for another person. So just now when I was praying for a brother, I asked God for discernment and I had a feeling to pray about a topic, but I wasn't sure whether that's just my thinking alone or that is actually from God.
But on our way back we had a short conversation and I guess my "discernment" wasn't too far off topic. Am quite excited that I can actually "hear" what God is trying to say and pray for another person.
When the brother prayed for me, he thank God for my passion and desire everything, but he prayed that above all I'll know God's love, and through knowing God's love that I'd know God's will for me.
When he said that I was reminded of what Ps. Lee Choo prayed for me during YA Camp. Though the wordings might be a bit different, but the core remains that I need to put more of God into myself and know God's love for me.
God, is that you speaking?
How then do I know your love?
By spending time with You in reading Your Word and prayer I guess.
Help me O God.
In Jesus' Name,
Amen
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Dare to Decide
Parts of the devotion material I read today.
I used to worry about making decisions for God. I used to be afraid to step out on faith and declare I was going to do something new that He'd shown me to do. I'd think, "What if I fail?" I was so scared of failing, I'd muddle around in indecision for weeks. Then one day I found out it wasn't my power that was going to carry it out anyway. But it took my decision to move God in on the scene. Once I decided what I was going to do and set it down firm, God backed me!
Isaiah 48:17
This is what the LORD says— your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel: "I am the LORD your God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go.
I used to worry about making decisions for God. I used to be afraid to step out on faith and declare I was going to do something new that He'd shown me to do. I'd think, "What if I fail?" I was so scared of failing, I'd muddle around in indecision for weeks. Then one day I found out it wasn't my power that was going to carry it out anyway. But it took my decision to move God in on the scene. Once I decided what I was going to do and set it down firm, God backed me!
Isaiah 48:17
This is what the LORD says— your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel: "I am the LORD your God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Workplace Ministry
Recently a friend of mine posted on her facebook status, "some conversations are priceless" and indeed I really agree with her. I guess yesterday was another milestone in my friendship with a friend. Sharing not just the ups in our lifes but the downs as well.
Anyway, yesterday morning I called my prayer partner. We were attending this follow up workshop of the Marketplace Conference in church on Saturday and we committed to have a time of prayer for our workplace every Monday morning.
I don't know many Christians in my office and I've been thinking of asking the few Christians I know to fellowship over meal since some time ago.
However I never got the courage to ask them officially. During the follow up workshop, we were challenge to start a prayer group in our office and I know that God was prompting in my heart. But to me it'll probably be easier to start a lunch fellowship than a prayer meeting.
So yesterday morning after praying with my partner, I send out the emails to 4 other Christians that I know, all of them from my IT/IS department.
Unfortunately 2 of them were on leave and another 2 didn't reply to my emails even though they've read it. Later on, 1 of the person, the manager of a team sitting nearby, walk over to me and said that actually someone else invited him to join a Christian Fellowship in office before. He said that the person who contacted him was from F&A department but during that time he was busy with a project and didn't join them.
Later on I got contact with the F&A person and found out that there's a bi-weekly CF on Thursday over lunch. But currently no one from IT/IS department is joining the fellowship.
I was delighted but a bit of mix feelings. I thought that there were no CF and I'd be the first to start one, but actually there is a gathering. But hey, it's amazing and wonderful that there actually is a CF gathering in my company.
I believe like what my prayer partner told me that probably this was a training and test for me. God didn't lead me to the CF group immediately but He wanted me to be obedient to Him and have a desire to do something for Him in my workplace.
And I'm glad I was obedient ^^
A bit excited about the people I'll meet during the CF.
Anyway, yesterday morning I called my prayer partner. We were attending this follow up workshop of the Marketplace Conference in church on Saturday and we committed to have a time of prayer for our workplace every Monday morning.
I don't know many Christians in my office and I've been thinking of asking the few Christians I know to fellowship over meal since some time ago.
However I never got the courage to ask them officially. During the follow up workshop, we were challenge to start a prayer group in our office and I know that God was prompting in my heart. But to me it'll probably be easier to start a lunch fellowship than a prayer meeting.
So yesterday morning after praying with my partner, I send out the emails to 4 other Christians that I know, all of them from my IT/IS department.
Unfortunately 2 of them were on leave and another 2 didn't reply to my emails even though they've read it. Later on, 1 of the person, the manager of a team sitting nearby, walk over to me and said that actually someone else invited him to join a Christian Fellowship in office before. He said that the person who contacted him was from F&A department but during that time he was busy with a project and didn't join them.
Later on I got contact with the F&A person and found out that there's a bi-weekly CF on Thursday over lunch. But currently no one from IT/IS department is joining the fellowship.
I was delighted but a bit of mix feelings. I thought that there were no CF and I'd be the first to start one, but actually there is a gathering. But hey, it's amazing and wonderful that there actually is a CF gathering in my company.
I believe like what my prayer partner told me that probably this was a training and test for me. God didn't lead me to the CF group immediately but He wanted me to be obedient to Him and have a desire to do something for Him in my workplace.
And I'm glad I was obedient ^^
A bit excited about the people I'll meet during the CF.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Relationships
Today I made my best friend sad and angry.
But thank you God for being in charge and making things okay.
Why do I always hurt the ones I love the most?
But thank you God for being in charge and making things okay.
Why do I always hurt the ones I love the most?
Sunday, September 19, 2010
24th Birthday
Luckily I'm in Malaysia. If I was in Korea I'd be 25 years old....but yeah, 1 more year to a quarter century.
I was back in Malaysia as well on my birthday last year, but didn't really manage to celebrate my birthday here. Celebrated the night before, flew from Seoul-KL, met my aunt, met wai peng and li ern then rushed off to camp the next day.
This year I met kai rou and jie ying for lunch, watched movie, went for dessert, ate a few slices of cake, went to DUMC to attend the service in conjuction with the Worship Conference, and I guess the grand finale was to have dinner with my Cell mates in a Korean restaurant called Arisu. I knew they were preparing something, but I didn't expect so many people to turn up, really thank you all of you^^
Getting some inspiration from this person, I'll like to write down 23 Experience that I had when I was 23.
#1 Attended theplan09 and that's where God seems to be asking me to come back to Malaysia.
#2 Wanted to start a relationship but it wasn't God's timing.
#3 Had the first Family Holiday Trip- to Korea
#4 God gave me an overall CGPA higher than what I asked for.
#5 Graduated with an Engineering Degree, again God's answer to prayer.
#6 Visited Phuket
#7 Visited Luang Prabang
#8 Visited Halong Bay
#9 Settled back in SIBKL
#10 Settled down in Friends 2 Cell.
#11 Went back to Kuching to care for my mom
#12 Rented a room in SS2 and I foolishly(?) signed a 1 year contract.
#13 The company that I've been working for 2.5 years wanted to halt the projects here.
#14 Wrote my first resume.
#15 Applied for a full time job, which has nothing to do with my major.
#16 Registered as a voter.
#17 First time attending Global Day of Prayer.
#18 Received my first taxable income.
#18 Met a good brother- hopefully we can be close friends.
#19 Got an interview from Albedo and Samsung but turned it down...trusting in God.
#20 Seeking God and praying for the nations through Prayer Meetings
#21 Completed Kairos Course- understanding what is crucial for the closure of the Gospel.
#22 Went for Sabah Mission Trip- time of reflection on God's work in Malaysia
#23 Attended my first YA Camp- did a reflection test which says I should do MBA and do management.
I was back in Malaysia as well on my birthday last year, but didn't really manage to celebrate my birthday here. Celebrated the night before, flew from Seoul-KL, met my aunt, met wai peng and li ern then rushed off to camp the next day.
This year I met kai rou and jie ying for lunch, watched movie, went for dessert, ate a few slices of cake, went to DUMC to attend the service in conjuction with the Worship Conference, and I guess the grand finale was to have dinner with my Cell mates in a Korean restaurant called Arisu. I knew they were preparing something, but I didn't expect so many people to turn up, really thank you all of you^^
Getting some inspiration from this person, I'll like to write down 23 Experience that I had when I was 23.
#1 Attended theplan09 and that's where God seems to be asking me to come back to Malaysia.
#2 Wanted to start a relationship but it wasn't God's timing.
#3 Had the first Family Holiday Trip- to Korea
#4 God gave me an overall CGPA higher than what I asked for.
#5 Graduated with an Engineering Degree, again God's answer to prayer.
#6 Visited Phuket
#7 Visited Luang Prabang
#8 Visited Halong Bay
#9 Settled back in SIBKL
#10 Settled down in Friends 2 Cell.
#11 Went back to Kuching to care for my mom
#12 Rented a room in SS2 and I foolishly(?) signed a 1 year contract.
#13 The company that I've been working for 2.5 years wanted to halt the projects here.
#14 Wrote my first resume.
#15 Applied for a full time job, which has nothing to do with my major.
#16 Registered as a voter.
#17 First time attending Global Day of Prayer.
#18 Received my first taxable income.
#18 Met a good brother- hopefully we can be close friends.
#19 Got an interview from Albedo and Samsung but turned it down...trusting in God.
#20 Seeking God and praying for the nations through Prayer Meetings
#21 Completed Kairos Course- understanding what is crucial for the closure of the Gospel.
#22 Went for Sabah Mission Trip- time of reflection on God's work in Malaysia
#23 Attended my first YA Camp- did a reflection test which says I should do MBA and do management.
Saturday, September 18, 2010
A Word For Me
"The future is yet to be written. Be faithful and live in the present"
-17 Sep 2010-
Colin
DUMC Worship Conference
-17 Sep 2010-
Colin
DUMC Worship Conference
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Random Post
Working on Malaysia Day...the first ever Malaysia Day in Malaysia after 47 years of independence.
Anyway, was bored and decided to do some search.
As we grow older our thoughts seems to change as well. But how much does it take to know ourselves and another person?
Anyway, was bored and decided to do some search.
As we grow older our thoughts seems to change as well. But how much does it take to know ourselves and another person?
Sunday, September 12, 2010
SIBKL YA Camp
This was my first time going to YA Camp.
It has been only months since I came to KL but so many things have happened. The Mission Trip to Sabah and this YA Camp was interesting. During the YA Camp, Ps Lee Choo shared a lot about the trip to Sabah and the things God imparted into her heart during the whole trip.
This YA Camp was also interesting because I paid RM 200 to do a Reflection Assessment Test. The result of the test were quite interesting, helps me to understand my own interest better I guess. Of course some of the results were quite expectable when I did the questions, but to see the contrast of my interest can help me to better evaluate and make decision I guess.
One thing that came to my mind when I was talking with Dr. Danny (the vocation doctor) over my reflection result was that I didn't look at my interest when I took my job. Of course I did prayed about it and asked a few of my friends to pray as well before my interview, but I didn't took into much consideration my interest, gifts etc.
Probably because of the uncertain bond that I have with JPA. I took the job because the pay was quite okay and the working hours were quite okay. But my recent feelings about the work and the result of the test seems to state that I get bored easily with routined work. I like new challenges and I have lots of interest in management, managing people especially, getting things done through people.
We shall see how this unfolds...
Anyway, before the camp ended, we were given a few minutes and asked to write down what we've learn during the past 3 days, and I'll just rewrite it here:
I need to fully trust in God, wholeheartedly, believing that He loves me and cares about me. In Him there is no condemnation. I need to spend more time with god alone, listening to His heart. When I can listen to God's heart for me, I can listen to god's heart for others. There are many fears in my life, and only the Love of God can conquer and overcome this fear.
And at the very end of the camp, Ps. Lee Choo shared the following:
God Can Be Trusted
*Destiny is a hindsight, not a foresight.
How do we fulfill our destiny?
1. A Desire that, 'God I want to live for you'
2. Disciplin ~of relationship with God, of hardship
3. Discover ~who we are, that God is moving, that we are prepared for a time as this.
During the 1st night when we were asked to pray for another person and hear what God has to say to him/her, the person praying for me said something like God thinks I'm a conqueror and He has always thinks of me in that way since I the past.
Then during the altar call when I asked the pastor to pray for me, she said something like, it's good that I have the passion and desire to serve God and do things for Him, but I also need to input God into myself. It is good that I am willing to go anywhere God sends me, but I need to know God's love for me.
Recently, and even more so after coming back from this camp, is my desire to grow deep in Christ.
And in order to do so I guess I need a lot of disciplin and spending lots of time with God.
God,
Even as I desire to grow deep in You, please lead me and guide me.
Help me to be disciplin in reading Your Word and spending more time with You.
Give me wisdom and a discerning heart so that I'll be able to understand your guidance better.
In Jesus' Name.
Amen.
It has been only months since I came to KL but so many things have happened. The Mission Trip to Sabah and this YA Camp was interesting. During the YA Camp, Ps Lee Choo shared a lot about the trip to Sabah and the things God imparted into her heart during the whole trip.
This YA Camp was also interesting because I paid RM 200 to do a Reflection Assessment Test. The result of the test were quite interesting, helps me to understand my own interest better I guess. Of course some of the results were quite expectable when I did the questions, but to see the contrast of my interest can help me to better evaluate and make decision I guess.
One thing that came to my mind when I was talking with Dr. Danny (the vocation doctor) over my reflection result was that I didn't look at my interest when I took my job. Of course I did prayed about it and asked a few of my friends to pray as well before my interview, but I didn't took into much consideration my interest, gifts etc.
Probably because of the uncertain bond that I have with JPA. I took the job because the pay was quite okay and the working hours were quite okay. But my recent feelings about the work and the result of the test seems to state that I get bored easily with routined work. I like new challenges and I have lots of interest in management, managing people especially, getting things done through people.
We shall see how this unfolds...
Anyway, before the camp ended, we were given a few minutes and asked to write down what we've learn during the past 3 days, and I'll just rewrite it here:
I need to fully trust in God, wholeheartedly, believing that He loves me and cares about me. In Him there is no condemnation. I need to spend more time with god alone, listening to His heart. When I can listen to God's heart for me, I can listen to god's heart for others. There are many fears in my life, and only the Love of God can conquer and overcome this fear.
And at the very end of the camp, Ps. Lee Choo shared the following:
God Can Be Trusted
*Destiny is a hindsight, not a foresight.
How do we fulfill our destiny?
1. A Desire that, 'God I want to live for you'
2. Disciplin ~of relationship with God, of hardship
3. Discover ~who we are, that God is moving, that we are prepared for a time as this.
During the 1st night when we were asked to pray for another person and hear what God has to say to him/her, the person praying for me said something like God thinks I'm a conqueror and He has always thinks of me in that way since I the past.
Then during the altar call when I asked the pastor to pray for me, she said something like, it's good that I have the passion and desire to serve God and do things for Him, but I also need to input God into myself. It is good that I am willing to go anywhere God sends me, but I need to know God's love for me.
Recently, and even more so after coming back from this camp, is my desire to grow deep in Christ.
And in order to do so I guess I need a lot of disciplin and spending lots of time with God.
God,
Even as I desire to grow deep in You, please lead me and guide me.
Help me to be disciplin in reading Your Word and spending more time with You.
Give me wisdom and a discerning heart so that I'll be able to understand your guidance better.
In Jesus' Name.
Amen.
Wednesday, September 08, 2010
Sabah Mission Trip
Arrive back from SIBKL Sabah Mission Trip last night.
Though the whole trip was only 5 days from 3-7 September, it felt longer than that.
We started preparing for this trip since more than 1 month ago, meeting every Thursday night to meet, prepare, pratice, pray, share etc. I guess it must have been quite taxing for many people as everyone in the team are working and our practice always finish after 11pm. But I really think that it was worth it.
The main focus of our trip was in Kg. Meligan, situated 5 hours drive from Kota Kinabalu. This is the village where they had a revival back in 1977 but today the spiritual health of the place is not that good, especially among the young ones who didn't experience the revival. Thus one of our major focus was to see revival among the younger generation.
On the first day when we arrived at Kg. Meligan, we were well greeted with great food and a lot of performance. However we all felt the lack of true joy even in their worship. Like what our pastor said, it was singing for the sack of singing, putting on a show for men rather than truely focusing and worshipping God.
However at the end of the 1st night when an altar call was given, we were touched to see quite a number of people coming up to be prayed for. We were informed that this things doesn't happen often and especially not with those youths.
The 2nd day we had a dialogue session with the youths and it was a time where we got to know them better. Our purpose was to understand their situation in order to better prepare the upcoming mission teams that will be going there. I was facillitating the questionaire and had the opportunity to talk to a few of the youths. I was encouraged to see that a lot of them took the questionaire seriously and began to think and reflect on their relationship with God.
The biggest joy we had was probably on the last day. On Sunday we led the worship and followed by sharing of the word by Ps. Lee Choo. While most of us didn't know that, she told us later that she felt the Holy Spirit leading and she changed the whole message right that morning. The message was about coming back to our first love for Christ. During the altar call after the message, many people were moved and nearly all of them came up to the front, from the grandparents to the youths. Everyone were moved and touched by the Holy Spirit and many began to wept and cry. Our whole team went up to pray for them, some of us even prayed together with them in BM.
After the altar call, there was a man who said he had something to share. And little did we know that this man was once the elder of the church but he left his family 10 years ago and it was by the guidance of the Holy Spirit that he reluctantly came to join the service that morning. But God was working in his life and he began to confess all the wrong things that he had done to his family and asked for forgiveness. It was indeed a time of reconciliation. The whole family of the man came up to the stage and the elders of the churches prayed for the family. We were told that such repentance and reconcilliation was something that has not been seen in the village since the last revival.
Beside the man, 2 other men came up to share, stating how they have turn to charms and everything but that today they have decided to get rid of all the charms.
It was amazing to see with our own eyes the things that we've only read in the books or heard from other people.
There were also many miracles that happened throughout the trip, like how one media team member forgot to bring her SD card but another team member accidentally found out that one of her friends SD card was left in the beg; how a lost handphone was found after 2 days, how the weather was on our side when we had outdoor activities etc.
To God be all the Glory and may we see His name being Lifted up again in the land below the wind.
Though the whole trip was only 5 days from 3-7 September, it felt longer than that.
We started preparing for this trip since more than 1 month ago, meeting every Thursday night to meet, prepare, pratice, pray, share etc. I guess it must have been quite taxing for many people as everyone in the team are working and our practice always finish after 11pm. But I really think that it was worth it.
The main focus of our trip was in Kg. Meligan, situated 5 hours drive from Kota Kinabalu. This is the village where they had a revival back in 1977 but today the spiritual health of the place is not that good, especially among the young ones who didn't experience the revival. Thus one of our major focus was to see revival among the younger generation.
On the first day when we arrived at Kg. Meligan, we were well greeted with great food and a lot of performance. However we all felt the lack of true joy even in their worship. Like what our pastor said, it was singing for the sack of singing, putting on a show for men rather than truely focusing and worshipping God.
However at the end of the 1st night when an altar call was given, we were touched to see quite a number of people coming up to be prayed for. We were informed that this things doesn't happen often and especially not with those youths.
The 2nd day we had a dialogue session with the youths and it was a time where we got to know them better. Our purpose was to understand their situation in order to better prepare the upcoming mission teams that will be going there. I was facillitating the questionaire and had the opportunity to talk to a few of the youths. I was encouraged to see that a lot of them took the questionaire seriously and began to think and reflect on their relationship with God.
The biggest joy we had was probably on the last day. On Sunday we led the worship and followed by sharing of the word by Ps. Lee Choo. While most of us didn't know that, she told us later that she felt the Holy Spirit leading and she changed the whole message right that morning. The message was about coming back to our first love for Christ. During the altar call after the message, many people were moved and nearly all of them came up to the front, from the grandparents to the youths. Everyone were moved and touched by the Holy Spirit and many began to wept and cry. Our whole team went up to pray for them, some of us even prayed together with them in BM.
After the altar call, there was a man who said he had something to share. And little did we know that this man was once the elder of the church but he left his family 10 years ago and it was by the guidance of the Holy Spirit that he reluctantly came to join the service that morning. But God was working in his life and he began to confess all the wrong things that he had done to his family and asked for forgiveness. It was indeed a time of reconciliation. The whole family of the man came up to the stage and the elders of the churches prayed for the family. We were told that such repentance and reconcilliation was something that has not been seen in the village since the last revival.
Beside the man, 2 other men came up to share, stating how they have turn to charms and everything but that today they have decided to get rid of all the charms.
It was amazing to see with our own eyes the things that we've only read in the books or heard from other people.
There were also many miracles that happened throughout the trip, like how one media team member forgot to bring her SD card but another team member accidentally found out that one of her friends SD card was left in the beg; how a lost handphone was found after 2 days, how the weather was on our side when we had outdoor activities etc.
To God be all the Glory and may we see His name being Lifted up again in the land below the wind.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Merdeka Overnight Prayer Meeting
Attended the Merdeka Overnight Prayer Meeting in SIBKL last night.
It was awesome.
The meeting lasted from 1030pm to 6am.
It was a wonderful time of prayer and seeking the Lord, listening and discerning the Father's heart beat for the nation. Confessing our sins and rededicating of our lifes to God.
I was glad to see many young people coming for the prayer meeting and to see God moving the hearts of the people to seek Him listen to Him. We had worship session led by Couz, Narrowstreet and Kidzone.
Focusing on the needs of the nation, the will of God and on the bigger picture makes the sacrifice of time, money and position seem doable.
During the prayer meeting, I was reminded of Pastor Kim Joon Gon. He is the founder of Korea Campus Crusade for Christ. However, before he founded KCCC, there were once he visited Dr. Bill Bright, the founder of Campus Crusade for Christ in the States. One morning, Dr. Bill Bright prepared breakfast for Ps. Kim but Ps. Kim stared at the food and appeared a bit nervous. He told Dr. Bill Bright that he has been fasting breakfast and will continue to do so until KCCC is established.
Thinking of the event, I was wondering if I should put it as a bargaining tool before God. I was also reminded of Esther's words, "If I die, I die."
I want to see God's name lifted in Malaysia. I want to see a revival coming among our neighbours and if I really am serious about it, why not take the stand that Ps. Kim did, commit to fasting of breakfast and praying till I see God moving in this land.
It was awesome.
The meeting lasted from 1030pm to 6am.
It was a wonderful time of prayer and seeking the Lord, listening and discerning the Father's heart beat for the nation. Confessing our sins and rededicating of our lifes to God.
I was glad to see many young people coming for the prayer meeting and to see God moving the hearts of the people to seek Him listen to Him. We had worship session led by Couz, Narrowstreet and Kidzone.
Focusing on the needs of the nation, the will of God and on the bigger picture makes the sacrifice of time, money and position seem doable.
During the prayer meeting, I was reminded of Pastor Kim Joon Gon. He is the founder of Korea Campus Crusade for Christ. However, before he founded KCCC, there were once he visited Dr. Bill Bright, the founder of Campus Crusade for Christ in the States. One morning, Dr. Bill Bright prepared breakfast for Ps. Kim but Ps. Kim stared at the food and appeared a bit nervous. He told Dr. Bill Bright that he has been fasting breakfast and will continue to do so until KCCC is established.
Thinking of the event, I was wondering if I should put it as a bargaining tool before God. I was also reminded of Esther's words, "If I die, I die."
I want to see God's name lifted in Malaysia. I want to see a revival coming among our neighbours and if I really am serious about it, why not take the stand that Ps. Kim did, commit to fasting of breakfast and praying till I see God moving in this land.
Monday, August 23, 2010
Pegawai Tadbir dan Diplomat
Lately I've been hearing news of my seniors trying to get rid of their PTD's job by trying to secure a job in a Korean company or further their studies in local university.
I was neutrally waiting to see whether the government will call me back to work for them. But after seeing how they can't even stand it for 6 months I begin to have doubt as well.
One senior said that most of the times he had to work till 6,7 or 8pm. Another said that it's boring. They say that it varies according to the department that you're in.
The senior that came to my company said that he couldn't see any future working there. The pay is low and a promotion is not within sight. They have 2 years contract with JPA before becoming permanent staff and even after that they don't know when they'll get promoted. The annual increment is just RM 85 a year!
I began to feel a bit depressed. Wondering how will I cope with in. I want to settle down fast and have my own family. But earning so little I wonder whether I can even support myself let alone a family.
I guess I tried to run away from reality by taking long naps in the afternoon during the weekend. Didn't want to think much about it.
Talked to a friend about it. Guess this is where practical issues clash with faith.
I'll still follow and obey if God calls me to, but I'd like to serve Him with a joy and a cheerful heart.
2 Corinthians 6: 1-10
1As God's fellow workers we urge you not to receive God's grace in vain. 2For he says,
"In the time of my favor I heard you, and in the day of salvation I helped you."I tell you, now is the time of God's favor, now is the day of salvation.
3We put no stumbling block in anyone's path, so that our ministry will not be discredited. 4Rather, as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way: in great endurance; in troubles, hardships and distresses; 5in beatings, imprisonments and riots; in hard work, sleepless nights and hunger; 6in purity, understanding, patience and kindness; in the Holy Spirit and in sincere love; 7in truthful speech and in the power of God; with weapons of righteousness in the right hand and in the left; 8through glory and dishonor, bad report and good report; genuine, yet regarded as impostors; 9known, yet regarded as unknown; dying, and yet we live on; beaten, and yet not killed; 10sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; poor, yet making many rich; having nothing, and yet possessing everything."
I was neutrally waiting to see whether the government will call me back to work for them. But after seeing how they can't even stand it for 6 months I begin to have doubt as well.
One senior said that most of the times he had to work till 6,7 or 8pm. Another said that it's boring. They say that it varies according to the department that you're in.
The senior that came to my company said that he couldn't see any future working there. The pay is low and a promotion is not within sight. They have 2 years contract with JPA before becoming permanent staff and even after that they don't know when they'll get promoted. The annual increment is just RM 85 a year!
I began to feel a bit depressed. Wondering how will I cope with in. I want to settle down fast and have my own family. But earning so little I wonder whether I can even support myself let alone a family.
I guess I tried to run away from reality by taking long naps in the afternoon during the weekend. Didn't want to think much about it.
Talked to a friend about it. Guess this is where practical issues clash with faith.
I'll still follow and obey if God calls me to, but I'd like to serve Him with a joy and a cheerful heart.
2 Corinthians 6: 1-10
1As God's fellow workers we urge you not to receive God's grace in vain. 2For he says,
"In the time of my favor I heard you, and in the day of salvation I helped you."I tell you, now is the time of God's favor, now is the day of salvation.
3We put no stumbling block in anyone's path, so that our ministry will not be discredited. 4Rather, as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way: in great endurance; in troubles, hardships and distresses; 5in beatings, imprisonments and riots; in hard work, sleepless nights and hunger; 6in purity, understanding, patience and kindness; in the Holy Spirit and in sincere love; 7in truthful speech and in the power of God; with weapons of righteousness in the right hand and in the left; 8through glory and dishonor, bad report and good report; genuine, yet regarded as impostors; 9known, yet regarded as unknown; dying, and yet we live on; beaten, and yet not killed; 10sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; poor, yet making many rich; having nothing, and yet possessing everything."
Sunday, August 01, 2010
Past 6 months
Reflecting back on the past 6 months there have been indeed ups and downs in my life.
When I first came back to Malaysia and still working with the Korean company I was hoping that the business will be successful (though in my heart I feel that God might have a different plan..) and though I really felt that God wants me to be here in Malaysia for the time being I was silently hoping that He’ll send me back to Korea.
But within 2 months everything went wrong and during that 2 months I think I was on an emotional roller coaster and probably some of my closer friends have heard me sighing and grumbling that I don’t know what God wants with me.
During that period honestly I was not very pleased with God but nonetheless looking back I still have to say that He’s been faithful. Of the few things which He did and I’m grateful for is bringing me to my current Cell.
I still remember the first few weeks when few of my cell mates shared their experience and journey of how God brought them to where they are now. I was also surprised and encouraged when I first attended the Tuesday prayer meeting to see a few of them there as well. Because usually when I go for prayer meetings I’m the only young or youngest person there.
I notice that there are not many YA cell people there and is it by coincident He put me in Friends 2 where few of my cell mates actually set apart their time to seek Him in corporate prayer gathering? Hmm..
Also since I set foot in SIBKL I have been thinking of going to Saturday prayer meeting but has not managed to do so till my cell mates invited and encouraged me to go.
I’m blessed to be surrounded by brother and sisters like them when I need it the most. Thanks.
When I first came back to Malaysia and still working with the Korean company I was hoping that the business will be successful (though in my heart I feel that God might have a different plan..) and though I really felt that God wants me to be here in Malaysia for the time being I was silently hoping that He’ll send me back to Korea.
But within 2 months everything went wrong and during that 2 months I think I was on an emotional roller coaster and probably some of my closer friends have heard me sighing and grumbling that I don’t know what God wants with me.
During that period honestly I was not very pleased with God but nonetheless looking back I still have to say that He’s been faithful. Of the few things which He did and I’m grateful for is bringing me to my current Cell.
I still remember the first few weeks when few of my cell mates shared their experience and journey of how God brought them to where they are now. I was also surprised and encouraged when I first attended the Tuesday prayer meeting to see a few of them there as well. Because usually when I go for prayer meetings I’m the only young or youngest person there.
I notice that there are not many YA cell people there and is it by coincident He put me in Friends 2 where few of my cell mates actually set apart their time to seek Him in corporate prayer gathering? Hmm..
Also since I set foot in SIBKL I have been thinking of going to Saturday prayer meeting but has not managed to do so till my cell mates invited and encouraged me to go.
I’m blessed to be surrounded by brother and sisters like them when I need it the most. Thanks.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Isaiah 51: 11-16
11 The ransomed of the LORD will return.
They will enter Zion with singing;
everlasting joy will crown their heads.
Gladness and joy will overtake them,
and sorrow and sighing will flee away.
12 "I, even I, am he who comforts you.
Who are you that you fear mortal men,
the sons of men, who are but grass,
13 that you forget the LORD your Maker,
who stretched out the heavens
and laid the foundations of the earth,
that you live in constant terror every day
because of the wrath of the oppressor,
who is bent on destruction?
For where is the wrath of the oppressor?
14 The cowering prisoners will soon be set free;
they will not die in their dungeon,
nor will they lack bread.
15 For I am the LORD your God,
who churns up the sea so that its waves roar—
the LORD Almighty is his name.
16 I have put my words in your mouth
and covered you with the shadow of my hand—
I who set the heavens in place,
who laid the foundations of the earth,
and who say to Zion, 'You are my people.' "
They will enter Zion with singing;
everlasting joy will crown their heads.
Gladness and joy will overtake them,
and sorrow and sighing will flee away.
12 "I, even I, am he who comforts you.
Who are you that you fear mortal men,
the sons of men, who are but grass,
13 that you forget the LORD your Maker,
who stretched out the heavens
and laid the foundations of the earth,
that you live in constant terror every day
because of the wrath of the oppressor,
who is bent on destruction?
For where is the wrath of the oppressor?
14 The cowering prisoners will soon be set free;
they will not die in their dungeon,
nor will they lack bread.
15 For I am the LORD your God,
who churns up the sea so that its waves roar—
the LORD Almighty is his name.
16 I have put my words in your mouth
and covered you with the shadow of my hand—
I who set the heavens in place,
who laid the foundations of the earth,
and who say to Zion, 'You are my people.' "
Sunday, July 04, 2010
Emotional Attachment
Came home about 4pm.
Woke up at 430am to see my brother off to the airport and went back to sleep.
Went to church at 920am for the pre-service prayer meeting.
Went to 11am service.
Went for lunch around 130pm.
I think it must have been more than a month since I last came home so early on Sunday.
But the feeling I had after reaching home..the same feeling that I had many times after coming back from church even when I was still in Korea...I don't know how to describe it.
It's a big contrast to the super high feeling I have during service and while I'm with my church friends.
When I reached home I feel a bit down...don't know why.
The more I mix and mingle with my Cell friends the more I like them and the more I want to be here. Yet the more emotionally attached to this place I become the harder it will be for me to leave...
Leaving Korea wasn't that difficult to some certain extent because I thought I'd be back very soon...
Hmm...probably I was tricked by God...or probably He just wanted me to say good bye easier...
7 more months...
Woke up at 430am to see my brother off to the airport and went back to sleep.
Went to church at 920am for the pre-service prayer meeting.
Went to 11am service.
Went for lunch around 130pm.
I think it must have been more than a month since I last came home so early on Sunday.
But the feeling I had after reaching home..the same feeling that I had many times after coming back from church even when I was still in Korea...I don't know how to describe it.
It's a big contrast to the super high feeling I have during service and while I'm with my church friends.
When I reached home I feel a bit down...don't know why.
The more I mix and mingle with my Cell friends the more I like them and the more I want to be here. Yet the more emotionally attached to this place I become the harder it will be for me to leave...
Leaving Korea wasn't that difficult to some certain extent because I thought I'd be back very soon...
Hmm...probably I was tricked by God...or probably He just wanted me to say good bye easier...
7 more months...
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Ice Breaker
In charge of Ice Breaker this week for cell.
Most of what I can think of are the games we played during our drinking and party sessions in Korea
Halelluyah
Mouse Catch
Run Horse
I am Grounded
Strawberry
But not sure whether it is suitable for cell environment and Malaysian culture. After all, these games aren't interesting without any penalty..^^
Most of what I can think of are the games we played during our drinking and party sessions in Korea
Halelluyah
Mouse Catch
Run Horse
I am Grounded
Strawberry
But not sure whether it is suitable for cell environment and Malaysian culture. After all, these games aren't interesting without any penalty..^^
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Rejecting Samsung's Interview Offer
Samsung called me on Thursday and asked me to go for an interview in Seremban on Friday.
Surprisingly and unlike my normal self, I didn't think too much about it. I just asked them to send me an email and I'll get back to them. Of course when I received the call I already had a rough answer in mind but I just waited to be sure of my decision.
If the offer had come last month, I would have gone down to Seremban, because when I submitted my application letter my previous company had internal issues and I suspected that I'd need to find a new company. Furthermore that was the time when my friend who was working in BASF told me she tried to get a release letter from BASF but failed. I was disturbed by all that was happening and wanted to get a release from the scholarship bond.
However after few weeks of wrestling and struggling with God, I've come to the conclusion of trusting in God for once and to wait upon Him.
Talking about waiting upon God, I am reminded about how when I first came back I was asking my Christian friends how do they know, when faced with a tough situation, whether God wants them to persevere and wait upon Him or regard it as a closed door and turn away?
In my situation I thought probably I should persevere and hope that things will be better for the company. But God caused the whole thing to stop. I couldn't do anything even if I wanted to because the decision making lies with the company's president. Now I realized that it was a closed door.
Probably because of this recent past event, God is telling me to trust in Him. If he wants me to work in the public sector He will send the offer to me. If He wants me to remain in the corporate world, the offer will not come. Simple as that.
I posted my likely action in Facebook, but surprisingly (I didn't know it until I replied Samsung, but even if I read it my action wouldn't have changed) all my friends asked me to just go for the interview first and think later. Of course because it was in FB I didn't give too much of my Spiritual walk explanation but instead provided some secular reasons.
What I think I did right was that I had another Christian brother to pray with me on Thrusday night. Of course even that brother asked me to go to the interview first. But since I already know that I will feel guilty (for not trusting in God) if I pass the interview and accept the offer, why bother to go in the first place?
Though the view was different but the important thing was that we prayed about it. And interestingly the night before a prophetic preacher was praying for me and telling me about discernment. And I think she mentioned something like taking the narrow path or something (need to listen to the content again). What more appropriate timing.
Anyway like what I wrote in my FB status the next day:
" Most of the time I write all the terms and conditions and asked God to sign and approve. Probably now is the time I sign first and ask God to write in the terms and conditions.."
Surprisingly and unlike my normal self, I didn't think too much about it. I just asked them to send me an email and I'll get back to them. Of course when I received the call I already had a rough answer in mind but I just waited to be sure of my decision.
If the offer had come last month, I would have gone down to Seremban, because when I submitted my application letter my previous company had internal issues and I suspected that I'd need to find a new company. Furthermore that was the time when my friend who was working in BASF told me she tried to get a release letter from BASF but failed. I was disturbed by all that was happening and wanted to get a release from the scholarship bond.
However after few weeks of wrestling and struggling with God, I've come to the conclusion of trusting in God for once and to wait upon Him.
Talking about waiting upon God, I am reminded about how when I first came back I was asking my Christian friends how do they know, when faced with a tough situation, whether God wants them to persevere and wait upon Him or regard it as a closed door and turn away?
In my situation I thought probably I should persevere and hope that things will be better for the company. But God caused the whole thing to stop. I couldn't do anything even if I wanted to because the decision making lies with the company's president. Now I realized that it was a closed door.
Probably because of this recent past event, God is telling me to trust in Him. If he wants me to work in the public sector He will send the offer to me. If He wants me to remain in the corporate world, the offer will not come. Simple as that.
I posted my likely action in Facebook, but surprisingly (I didn't know it until I replied Samsung, but even if I read it my action wouldn't have changed) all my friends asked me to just go for the interview first and think later. Of course because it was in FB I didn't give too much of my Spiritual walk explanation but instead provided some secular reasons.
What I think I did right was that I had another Christian brother to pray with me on Thrusday night. Of course even that brother asked me to go to the interview first. But since I already know that I will feel guilty (for not trusting in God) if I pass the interview and accept the offer, why bother to go in the first place?
Though the view was different but the important thing was that we prayed about it. And interestingly the night before a prophetic preacher was praying for me and telling me about discernment. And I think she mentioned something like taking the narrow path or something (need to listen to the content again). What more appropriate timing.
Anyway like what I wrote in my FB status the next day:
" Most of the time I write all the terms and conditions and asked God to sign and approve. Probably now is the time I sign first and ask God to write in the terms and conditions.."
Sunday, June 06, 2010
Surrendered Rest
Today's sermon was about Rest. I didn't make any notes so I can't remember the details of what was preached, but roughtly Ps Lee Choo mentioned that there are 3 types of rest:
1. Salvation Rest
2. Surrendered Rest
3. Sabbath Rest
Salvation Rest is the rest that we entered into when we believed in Christ.
Surrendered Rest is the rest that enters into us when we have faith in God's word and promises. This also means surrendering our selfs and judging between the promises of sins and the promises of God. She also mentioned that when are action are not in-tune with our believes, we will be restless. When we do something which we know is against our core believe we will have no rest.
Before starting work with BASF I was still restless thinking of trying to ask for a support letter to get rid of my jpa bond. I was also reminded how I was restless sending my resumes to a few Korean companies few weeks ago after chatting with my friend who's also working there. But after I decided to just wait and let God make the decision I sort of found the peace that I was lacking for the past few weeks.
I'm reminded of the analogy of how we as Christians always like to fill in the check or agreement and ask God to sign it, rather than signing it and asking God to fill it with whatever he wants.
I still think that getting rid of the jpa bond isn't that hard. But I might feel guilty years later own, because I don't fully know what God's plan is. I got rid of the bond base on my own decision and action.
However if I wait for the outcome from God, I'll have peace knowing that it's not something I chose for myself but something God wanted me to do. And in being sure that I'm walking in accordance with His will I'll can find comfort and claim His promises when I face trials and difficulties.
1. Salvation Rest
2. Surrendered Rest
3. Sabbath Rest
Salvation Rest is the rest that we entered into when we believed in Christ.
Surrendered Rest is the rest that enters into us when we have faith in God's word and promises. This also means surrendering our selfs and judging between the promises of sins and the promises of God. She also mentioned that when are action are not in-tune with our believes, we will be restless. When we do something which we know is against our core believe we will have no rest.
Before starting work with BASF I was still restless thinking of trying to ask for a support letter to get rid of my jpa bond. I was also reminded how I was restless sending my resumes to a few Korean companies few weeks ago after chatting with my friend who's also working there. But after I decided to just wait and let God make the decision I sort of found the peace that I was lacking for the past few weeks.
I'm reminded of the analogy of how we as Christians always like to fill in the check or agreement and ask God to sign it, rather than signing it and asking God to fill it with whatever he wants.
I still think that getting rid of the jpa bond isn't that hard. But I might feel guilty years later own, because I don't fully know what God's plan is. I got rid of the bond base on my own decision and action.
However if I wait for the outcome from God, I'll have peace knowing that it's not something I chose for myself but something God wanted me to do. And in being sure that I'm walking in accordance with His will I'll can find comfort and claim His promises when I face trials and difficulties.
Psalms 84
One of my friend from cell sent me this passage the night before my first official job after graduating.
I don't know why he chose this psalm out of all the 150 psalms, but was touched by how thoughtful he was. "May you turn the valley into springs of living water." Thanks, and by God's grace will try to do that.
Psalm 84
For the director of music. According to gittith. Of the Sons of Korah. A psalm.
1 How lovely is your dwelling-place, O LORD Almighty.
2 My soul yearns, even faints, for the courts of the LORD; my heart and my flesh cry out for the living God.
3Even the sparrow has found a home, and the swallow a nest for herself, where she may have her young— a place near your altar, O LORD Almighty, my King and my God.
4 Blessed are those who dwell in your house; they are ever praising you.
5Blessed are those whose strength is in you, who have set their hearts on pilgrimage.
6 As they pass through the Valley of Baca, they make it a place of springs; the autumn rains also cover it with pools.
7 They go from strength to strength, till each appears before God in Zion.
8Hear my prayer, O LORD God Almighty; listen to me, O God of Jacob.
9 Look upon our shield, O God; look with favour on your anointed one.
10Better is one day in yourcourtsthan a thousand elsewhere; I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of the wicked.
11 For the LORD God is a sun and shield; the LORD bestows favour and honour; no good thing does hewithholdfrom those whose walk is blameless.
12O LORD Almighty, blessed is the man who trusts in you
I don't know why he chose this psalm out of all the 150 psalms, but was touched by how thoughtful he was. "May you turn the valley into springs of living water." Thanks, and by God's grace will try to do that.
Psalm 84
For the director of music. According to gittith. Of the Sons of Korah. A psalm.
1 How lovely is your dwelling-place, O LORD Almighty.
2 My soul yearns, even faints, for the courts of the LORD; my heart and my flesh cry out for the living God.
3Even the sparrow has found a home, and the swallow a nest for herself, where she may have her young— a place near your altar, O LORD Almighty, my King and my God.
4 Blessed are those who dwell in your house; they are ever praising you.
5Blessed are those whose strength is in you, who have set their hearts on pilgrimage.
6 As they pass through the Valley of Baca, they make it a place of springs; the autumn rains also cover it with pools.
7 They go from strength to strength, till each appears before God in Zion.
8Hear my prayer, O LORD God Almighty; listen to me, O God of Jacob.
9 Look upon our shield, O God; look with favour on your anointed one.
10Better is one day in yourcourtsthan a thousand elsewhere; I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of the wicked.
11 For the LORD God is a sun and shield; the LORD bestows favour and honour; no good thing does hewithholdfrom those whose walk is blameless.
12O LORD Almighty, blessed is the man who trusts in you
Monday, May 31, 2010
Time of Training & Equipping
Last night again as I was complaining to my cell friends that I don't know what my purpose being here in Malaysia is, he said that probably this is a time of training. And I replied saying that that's what I would like to believe, that God is training and equipping me.
Today I attended my first Kairos course.
Since beginning of this year when I knew that there was a Youth Kairos coming up in June I was eager to attend it. But unfortunately with my work starting this coming Tuesday I'd not be able to attend it. However I signed up for another Kairos course in Wesley Methodist Church which is conducted during the weekend for 3.5 weeks.
Well, if I choose to believe that this is a time of training, then I should make use of every opportunity to learn and equip myself. My church has many course that I can take and recently when I was having lunch with my friend who's working at St. Mary's Anglican Cathedral I got to know that there are a few open education courses that I can take as well.
Thus I will make use of my time this year to learn as much as I can because:
1. If I'm called by JPA end of the year I don't know where they'll post me.
2. If I continue to work with BASF I might want to go into engineering related field which is in the ulu area.
"Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 1 Peter 5:8 "
Today I attended my first Kairos course.
Since beginning of this year when I knew that there was a Youth Kairos coming up in June I was eager to attend it. But unfortunately with my work starting this coming Tuesday I'd not be able to attend it. However I signed up for another Kairos course in Wesley Methodist Church which is conducted during the weekend for 3.5 weeks.
Well, if I choose to believe that this is a time of training, then I should make use of every opportunity to learn and equip myself. My church has many course that I can take and recently when I was having lunch with my friend who's working at St. Mary's Anglican Cathedral I got to know that there are a few open education courses that I can take as well.
Thus I will make use of my time this year to learn as much as I can because:
1. If I'm called by JPA end of the year I don't know where they'll post me.
2. If I continue to work with BASF I might want to go into engineering related field which is in the ulu area.
"Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 1 Peter 5:8 "
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Life Purpose Revisited
Lately I had the chance to ponder again on my life's purpose.
Was telling my friend just now as he was sending me back that I thought I found my purpose when I was back in Korea. And I thought God wanted me to come back that's why I'm here. But it seems that after coming back I've lost my purpose. So did I really find my purpose in the first place?
Probably I'm a little disillusioned by all the uncertainties that I'm facing.
But last night as I was attending Dr. Rody's conference, he mentioned that there's a difference between "interest" and "passion". He goes on the explain that "interest" is related more to our intelectual aspect while "passion" is strongly connected with our emosion.
I've always said that it's hard for me to make decision because I'm interested in so many things. But come to think of it, what am I passionate about?
While I was still in uni, I wanted to be involved with missionary work, probably full time, but more as a tentmaker. And I thought that was my calling or purpose.
Come back to think of it, the reason I worked part time with the Korean company was with the hope that the business will be suceesful and I can raise fund for mission work. I've been looking forward to this during the last year of my uni life but when the business stopped abruptly after 2 months of my graduation, I lost my direction.
That was when I began to ponder whether I should get rid of my JPA bond or wait for them to call me back and work for the government. I was undecisive over this matter because though the pay in the public sector is not high, it is a place where I can try to make a difference. The thought of getting rid of the bond so that I can remain in the private sector which offers me a higher pay also crossed my mind. I was also weighing the pros and cons of staying in this two different sector in the long run, i.e till I retire, taking into calculation EPF and pension plan.
What I missed when making these calculation is my life's purpose and my calling. My interest in changing the public sector and making it more productive and efficient blurred me from my passion- making a change in people's life, especially for those who are in need in China and Middle East.
If I go into the public sector, it's not impossible but it'll be hard for me to go to China or Middle East. Of course if God wants me to be in the government sector first I'm sure He'll provide a way, or I can change career later on after a few years.
But what is more intellectually sound is to remain in the private sector and seek opportunities to work in those countries. Or getting another Master qualification before going there.
-Time will Tell-
Was telling my friend just now as he was sending me back that I thought I found my purpose when I was back in Korea. And I thought God wanted me to come back that's why I'm here. But it seems that after coming back I've lost my purpose. So did I really find my purpose in the first place?
Probably I'm a little disillusioned by all the uncertainties that I'm facing.
But last night as I was attending Dr. Rody's conference, he mentioned that there's a difference between "interest" and "passion". He goes on the explain that "interest" is related more to our intelectual aspect while "passion" is strongly connected with our emosion.
I've always said that it's hard for me to make decision because I'm interested in so many things. But come to think of it, what am I passionate about?
While I was still in uni, I wanted to be involved with missionary work, probably full time, but more as a tentmaker. And I thought that was my calling or purpose.
Come back to think of it, the reason I worked part time with the Korean company was with the hope that the business will be suceesful and I can raise fund for mission work. I've been looking forward to this during the last year of my uni life but when the business stopped abruptly after 2 months of my graduation, I lost my direction.
That was when I began to ponder whether I should get rid of my JPA bond or wait for them to call me back and work for the government. I was undecisive over this matter because though the pay in the public sector is not high, it is a place where I can try to make a difference. The thought of getting rid of the bond so that I can remain in the private sector which offers me a higher pay also crossed my mind. I was also weighing the pros and cons of staying in this two different sector in the long run, i.e till I retire, taking into calculation EPF and pension plan.
What I missed when making these calculation is my life's purpose and my calling. My interest in changing the public sector and making it more productive and efficient blurred me from my passion- making a change in people's life, especially for those who are in need in China and Middle East.
If I go into the public sector, it's not impossible but it'll be hard for me to go to China or Middle East. Of course if God wants me to be in the government sector first I'm sure He'll provide a way, or I can change career later on after a few years.
But what is more intellectually sound is to remain in the private sector and seek opportunities to work in those countries. Or getting another Master qualification before going there.
-Time will Tell-
FIREWALL
Attended the family conference: "FIREWALL Your Family" by Dr. Rodi. Initially I thought it was just about parenting and other topics more suitable for married adults, but it turned out to be quite helpful for me as well.
It spoke on self esteem, addiction, and ways to overcome them.
But as I was helping out as a crew so was a little busy setting up the place, preparing tea break & lunch, clearing the place etc.
Just to list a few interesting notes:
1. When we are easily tempted:
Bored
Lonely
Anxious, Angry
Stressed
Tired
2. Accountability
4 X Friends
4 X Weeks
4 X (can't remember)
4 X Plans
3. Internet Accountability Software
http://www.x3watch.com/
It spoke on self esteem, addiction, and ways to overcome them.
But as I was helping out as a crew so was a little busy setting up the place, preparing tea break & lunch, clearing the place etc.
Just to list a few interesting notes:
1. When we are easily tempted:
Bored
Lonely
Anxious, Angry
Stressed
Tired
2. Accountability
4 X Friends
4 X Weeks
4 X (can't remember)
4 X Plans
3. Internet Accountability Software
http://www.x3watch.com/
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Being Bold In Praying
I notice that of late I'm not being bold in praying.
Rather I've become very passive, waiting for things to happen on me.
One of the reason is probably because I don't know how to or what to pray for in my current situation.
Frankly if I consider pure personal reason alone I do not want to work in the public sector.
However I'm not sure what idea God has in mind.
So rather than actively seeking a job with the gov. or actively getting rid of the bond, I'm just passively waiting for the offer to come, or don't come.
I've decided not to get a job with a Korean firm just to get rid of the bond, and have signed an agreement to work for a German company.
My friend who has been working there tried to get a release, but failed.
This time I'll try to get the release letter once I start work next week.
And I'll pray earnestly that God will take this cup away from me, but not my will be done, but His.
If I miraculously get the release, then I can testify about it.
If I don't get it, I'll assume that's what God has in mind and wait for the gov offer to come, or not to come.
*sigh*
Rather I've become very passive, waiting for things to happen on me.
One of the reason is probably because I don't know how to or what to pray for in my current situation.
Frankly if I consider pure personal reason alone I do not want to work in the public sector.
However I'm not sure what idea God has in mind.
So rather than actively seeking a job with the gov. or actively getting rid of the bond, I'm just passively waiting for the offer to come, or don't come.
I've decided not to get a job with a Korean firm just to get rid of the bond, and have signed an agreement to work for a German company.
My friend who has been working there tried to get a release, but failed.
This time I'll try to get the release letter once I start work next week.
And I'll pray earnestly that God will take this cup away from me, but not my will be done, but His.
If I miraculously get the release, then I can testify about it.
If I don't get it, I'll assume that's what God has in mind and wait for the gov offer to come, or not to come.
*sigh*
Monday, May 24, 2010
Greater Things Are Still To Be Done In This City
Just came back from the Global Day Of Prayer.
It was awesome seeing so many Christians gathering in the Stadium Malawati in Shah Alam to seek God and pray for our nation and the world.
The song that stood out the most to me was God Of This City.
I first heard this song when I was in Korea, I think on a Sunday morning service in Kangnam, and Kangnam is indeed a place where we need to see more of God's work.
Today I'm back here in Malaysia, but nonetheless there are still many things to be done in this city and country as well.
After wrestling with God for the past few weeks my heart tells me that God wants me to be here. So not likely I'll run elsewhere for the moment.
Furthermore after many talks with church people and prayers, I've more or less decided not to get rid of the JPA bond i.e. finding a job at a Korean company.
Like what Queen Esther said: 죽으면 죽으리이다. If I die, I die. If God sends the JPA offer to me, I'd gladly accept it and go in to the public sector for a few years. If it doesn't come then I'll work with the present company for a few years before making my next decision.
I'm not saying that working in the public sector is the only way to serve the country or to serve God, but I believe that this is my battle and conviction: To not look at myself, what I want, but to look at how I can optimize the opportunity that God provides.
It was awesome seeing so many Christians gathering in the Stadium Malawati in Shah Alam to seek God and pray for our nation and the world.
The song that stood out the most to me was God Of This City.
I first heard this song when I was in Korea, I think on a Sunday morning service in Kangnam, and Kangnam is indeed a place where we need to see more of God's work.
Today I'm back here in Malaysia, but nonetheless there are still many things to be done in this city and country as well.
After wrestling with God for the past few weeks my heart tells me that God wants me to be here. So not likely I'll run elsewhere for the moment.
Furthermore after many talks with church people and prayers, I've more or less decided not to get rid of the JPA bond i.e. finding a job at a Korean company.
Like what Queen Esther said: 죽으면 죽으리이다. If I die, I die. If God sends the JPA offer to me, I'd gladly accept it and go in to the public sector for a few years. If it doesn't come then I'll work with the present company for a few years before making my next decision.
I'm not saying that working in the public sector is the only way to serve the country or to serve God, but I believe that this is my battle and conviction: To not look at myself, what I want, but to look at how I can optimize the opportunity that God provides.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Time To Relax
When I first came back to Kuching few weeks ago I was in Frustration Mode.
Nothing was going my way and everything seemed to be going against me.
Many things happened during these few weeks and many mental changes occured as well.
I was in the heat of pursuing my part time job and was frustrated that nothing was going well.
Was upset that the day I signed the contract for my rented room in PJ I had to fly back.
Was not sure of what I wanted and was in a spiritual roller coaster.
But my time here has seemed to cool me off.
Taking time off to relax, do the house chores, cooking, shopping, learning to drive, hanging out with friends, exploring Kuching etc.
And it was during this period that I've decided to stop or minimize my involvement with the part time company that I've been working for the past 3 years because I think my effort is not being appreciated and while I think for the company in various way they don't really take care off me.
So I send in my resume to 2 companies in KL and went to an interview last week.
I can work anytime but I'm not in a rush to work as there's so many things I want to do.
If by end of the month I'm still not working will probably sign up for Youth Kairos.
But if I've started working will still try to sign up for a normal Kairos Course in June.
Trusting in God.
Especially with my issue with the government.
Nothing was going my way and everything seemed to be going against me.
Many things happened during these few weeks and many mental changes occured as well.
I was in the heat of pursuing my part time job and was frustrated that nothing was going well.
Was upset that the day I signed the contract for my rented room in PJ I had to fly back.
Was not sure of what I wanted and was in a spiritual roller coaster.
But my time here has seemed to cool me off.
Taking time off to relax, do the house chores, cooking, shopping, learning to drive, hanging out with friends, exploring Kuching etc.
And it was during this period that I've decided to stop or minimize my involvement with the part time company that I've been working for the past 3 years because I think my effort is not being appreciated and while I think for the company in various way they don't really take care off me.
So I send in my resume to 2 companies in KL and went to an interview last week.
I can work anytime but I'm not in a rush to work as there's so many things I want to do.
If by end of the month I'm still not working will probably sign up for Youth Kairos.
But if I've started working will still try to sign up for a normal Kairos Course in June.
Trusting in God.
Especially with my issue with the government.
Sunday, May 02, 2010
Mission Conference & Carry the Call 2010
I had the chance to attend my church's Mission Conference during the weekend.
Every year SIB Kuching has a Mission Conference as far as I can remember, which is like 10, 15 years ago.
While I was still young I would go there with my aunt. Though I didn't fully understand what was being said or shared by the missionaries, I always had a keen interest in the works that the missionaries were doing.
Carry the Call was a youth mission thing that was started by my church youth group in 2000. This year is the 10th and final Carry the Call. I was at the first one and now God brought me back to attend the last one. It's been 10 years. I was actually thinking whether to go for Carry the Call or go hang out with my friends, since it's mostly for youth and I feel a bit out of it. But am glad I went.
Looking at my younger brother and sister answering to the missionary/speaker's challenge, I was reminded of how I used to response as well. At first I was sure I do not have the ability to go and I was also quite sure I didn't have the money to give. So the only challenge I could take was to pray for missions.
Few years down the road, I was still a student and had no money, but I was brave enough to give a token towards mission. I remember there was a short term mission trip in my church, but I didn't have the money to pay for it and I didn't hink that I would be any use going there.
Fastforwarding to my time in college, God led me to Campus Crusade for Christ and during my 1st and 2nd year of college I had the opportunity to go to Japan, Mongolia and China for 2~3 weeks short term mission.
At that time I even thought of going off for 1 year STINT directly after graduating.
But things have not turned out the way I wanted. Obstacles came, new opportunities arose and the challenges that I said I would take was forgotten.
But last night it seems that God was speaking to me. Reminding me that long ago, when God asked, "Whom shall I send?", I think I did say that if God was asking me to go, I'd go.
But how do I know whether God wants me to go?
This morning during service the speaker was saying that many people want clear guidance and indication from God that He wants them to go to mission. The speaker then asked us, how many of us have clear guidance and indication that God wants us to stay?
Every year SIB Kuching has a Mission Conference as far as I can remember, which is like 10, 15 years ago.
While I was still young I would go there with my aunt. Though I didn't fully understand what was being said or shared by the missionaries, I always had a keen interest in the works that the missionaries were doing.
Carry the Call was a youth mission thing that was started by my church youth group in 2000. This year is the 10th and final Carry the Call. I was at the first one and now God brought me back to attend the last one. It's been 10 years. I was actually thinking whether to go for Carry the Call or go hang out with my friends, since it's mostly for youth and I feel a bit out of it. But am glad I went.
Looking at my younger brother and sister answering to the missionary/speaker's challenge, I was reminded of how I used to response as well. At first I was sure I do not have the ability to go and I was also quite sure I didn't have the money to give. So the only challenge I could take was to pray for missions.
Few years down the road, I was still a student and had no money, but I was brave enough to give a token towards mission. I remember there was a short term mission trip in my church, but I didn't have the money to pay for it and I didn't hink that I would be any use going there.
Fastforwarding to my time in college, God led me to Campus Crusade for Christ and during my 1st and 2nd year of college I had the opportunity to go to Japan, Mongolia and China for 2~3 weeks short term mission.
At that time I even thought of going off for 1 year STINT directly after graduating.
But things have not turned out the way I wanted. Obstacles came, new opportunities arose and the challenges that I said I would take was forgotten.
But last night it seems that God was speaking to me. Reminding me that long ago, when God asked, "Whom shall I send?", I think I did say that if God was asking me to go, I'd go.
But how do I know whether God wants me to go?
This morning during service the speaker was saying that many people want clear guidance and indication from God that He wants them to go to mission. The speaker then asked us, how many of us have clear guidance and indication that God wants us to stay?
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
1 Week In Kuching
It's been a week since I came back, but felt much longer than that.
It was a time for me to practice my driving.
Drove many more times in the past 1 week.
Than what I did for the past 6 years.
Probably breaking a few rules along the way.
It was a time for me to do house chores.
Trying to clear the fridge by cooking all the food in it.
Realizing why grandmother complains not knowing what to cook.
Cooking similar stuff over and over again is no fun.
It was a time for me to look for a physiotherapist.
Wanted to find one to drop by our home to teach my mom.
But it seems that there are not many around who would go to a house..
Probably I can make a business by providing this service.
It was a time for me to appreciate the efforts of a housewife.
Doing the grocery shopping, cooking, washing etc.
Having not much time to do the work that I wanted to.
But was kind of good for me to rest and relax.
It was a time to get to know my neigbors better.
As well as the distance relatives that I visit only once a year.
When they drop by to visit my mom.
Bringing lots of apple till I don't know how to finish them.
It was also a time to see the bigger picture again.
Being less frustrated about the things not going well.
And to think about the things that can come through it.
Bringing God back into the picture and hoping for a better future.
"Man are the plans in a man's heart, but it is God's will that prevails."
It was a time for me to practice my driving.
Drove many more times in the past 1 week.
Than what I did for the past 6 years.
Probably breaking a few rules along the way.
It was a time for me to do house chores.
Trying to clear the fridge by cooking all the food in it.
Realizing why grandmother complains not knowing what to cook.
Cooking similar stuff over and over again is no fun.
It was a time for me to look for a physiotherapist.
Wanted to find one to drop by our home to teach my mom.
But it seems that there are not many around who would go to a house..
Probably I can make a business by providing this service.
It was a time for me to appreciate the efforts of a housewife.
Doing the grocery shopping, cooking, washing etc.
Having not much time to do the work that I wanted to.
But was kind of good for me to rest and relax.
It was a time to get to know my neigbors better.
As well as the distance relatives that I visit only once a year.
When they drop by to visit my mom.
Bringing lots of apple till I don't know how to finish them.
It was also a time to see the bigger picture again.
Being less frustrated about the things not going well.
And to think about the things that can come through it.
Bringing God back into the picture and hoping for a better future.
"Man are the plans in a man's heart, but it is God's will that prevails."
Saturday, April 24, 2010
The Longkang Tragedy
This is the account of the longkang tragedy that brought me back to Kuching:
It was 17 April, 4am. My mom woke up and couldn't go back to sleep.
As she was helping my neighbour doing some chores from 9am~2pm, during that paticular week, she decided to do some house chores before going to the neighbor's house.
5am. She decided to push the garbage bin out to the front of the gate, so that the garbage truck can collect the rubbish. The grass cutter has just cut off some bush/flowers the day before and she wanted to throw that away together. However, as she put the bunch of bush/flowers on top of the garbage bin, the thing fell and as she tried to hold on to it, she slipped and fell into the longkang next to the garbage bin.
Amazingly she managed to pull herself up from the longkang, but couldn't stand up on her own. She waited until her older brother, my uncle who stays next door open the doors to go jogging at about 5.30am. My uncle came over, but couldn't help her up on her feet as well. She then drag and shifted herself along the sidewalks till she reached the letter box, grabbed hold of it and pulled herself up.
They then decided to call the ambulance from the general hospital and at 6.15am they arrived in the hospital. Doctor came, x-rayed and said that they can only schedule an operation 4 weeks later.
When my mom's younger sister, my aunt who stays on the other next door came back (she's been working as a headmaster in Limbang for the past 1 year but comes back often to help out in the house, and it so happen she was coming back and landed in Kuching in the morning) she called my other aunts, and they decided it'll be better to shift her to Timberland Medical Hospital, a private hospital and get the operation done quickly.
My aunt's didn't manage to inform my two older brothers as one was in UAE and they didn't have time to go online and tell him while another is having his exam (something work-related). I didn't know that they didn't tell him, but glad I'm back here to get some things settled.
So this is the brief account.
It was 17 April, 4am. My mom woke up and couldn't go back to sleep.
As she was helping my neighbour doing some chores from 9am~2pm, during that paticular week, she decided to do some house chores before going to the neighbor's house.
5am. She decided to push the garbage bin out to the front of the gate, so that the garbage truck can collect the rubbish. The grass cutter has just cut off some bush/flowers the day before and she wanted to throw that away together. However, as she put the bunch of bush/flowers on top of the garbage bin, the thing fell and as she tried to hold on to it, she slipped and fell into the longkang next to the garbage bin.
Amazingly she managed to pull herself up from the longkang, but couldn't stand up on her own. She waited until her older brother, my uncle who stays next door open the doors to go jogging at about 5.30am. My uncle came over, but couldn't help her up on her feet as well. She then drag and shifted herself along the sidewalks till she reached the letter box, grabbed hold of it and pulled herself up.
They then decided to call the ambulance from the general hospital and at 6.15am they arrived in the hospital. Doctor came, x-rayed and said that they can only schedule an operation 4 weeks later.
When my mom's younger sister, my aunt who stays on the other next door came back (she's been working as a headmaster in Limbang for the past 1 year but comes back often to help out in the house, and it so happen she was coming back and landed in Kuching in the morning) she called my other aunts, and they decided it'll be better to shift her to Timberland Medical Hospital, a private hospital and get the operation done quickly.
My aunt's didn't manage to inform my two older brothers as one was in UAE and they didn't have time to go online and tell him while another is having his exam (something work-related). I didn't know that they didn't tell him, but glad I'm back here to get some things settled.
So this is the brief account.
Monday, April 19, 2010
Back to Kuching Again...
So I've decided to go back to Kuching tomorrow, to be with my mum as she'll be going through her operation 3pm today. Booked a one way ticket with the help of a cell member. Not sure how long I'll be in Kuching.
At first things wasn't going well for me. Now it seems that things are not going well for my family as well.
The day I signed a contract for a room here in KL, I got the news that my mum fell into the drain, fractured her bone, needs to be hospitalized with an operation scheduled in May, because the general hospital has a long list of patients waiting to undergo surgical operation.
My mum's sisters decided to get her out of the general hospital and into a private hospital as they think delaying the operation will only bring long term negative effect to the wounded area. But today I got news that there's 3 options, 2 which involves putting a rod into the bone which means she won't be able to squat anymore as it can dislocate, the 3rd option without rod is just to wait for natural healing to take place, 2~3 months, but if it doesn't heal she'll need to operate again to put the rod.
I guess if we had the resources the 3rd option will be the best. I didn't manage to talk to my brothers and other family members but I guess the undecisiveness is due to the fact that my mum will need to endure few more months of pain and inconveniences with no one at home to take care of things, and the probable cost of another operation...
And the Bible teaches us that God looks after the weak and poor...
Was it mere coincident that a cell member was telling me how she came back because "if she can't even honor her parents, how can she honor God?"
I guess in the current situation I have 2 options to make. I can be even bitter and angry at God for how things have turned out, that none of my projects are successful and that I can't give any financial help to ease the situation. Or I can thank God that nothing was successful and I can take some time off to go back home to be at her side.
Depends on which options I take it can either make me emotionally unstable and conceive more grudge in me or it can give me hope and encouragement.
Since I choose to believe that God is still good, I guess it'll be wiser to take option 2. That even though things are not going well now, eventually God will make His face shine upon me again...
At first things wasn't going well for me. Now it seems that things are not going well for my family as well.
The day I signed a contract for a room here in KL, I got the news that my mum fell into the drain, fractured her bone, needs to be hospitalized with an operation scheduled in May, because the general hospital has a long list of patients waiting to undergo surgical operation.
My mum's sisters decided to get her out of the general hospital and into a private hospital as they think delaying the operation will only bring long term negative effect to the wounded area. But today I got news that there's 3 options, 2 which involves putting a rod into the bone which means she won't be able to squat anymore as it can dislocate, the 3rd option without rod is just to wait for natural healing to take place, 2~3 months, but if it doesn't heal she'll need to operate again to put the rod.
I guess if we had the resources the 3rd option will be the best. I didn't manage to talk to my brothers and other family members but I guess the undecisiveness is due to the fact that my mum will need to endure few more months of pain and inconveniences with no one at home to take care of things, and the probable cost of another operation...
And the Bible teaches us that God looks after the weak and poor...
Was it mere coincident that a cell member was telling me how she came back because "if she can't even honor her parents, how can she honor God?"
I guess in the current situation I have 2 options to make. I can be even bitter and angry at God for how things have turned out, that none of my projects are successful and that I can't give any financial help to ease the situation. Or I can thank God that nothing was successful and I can take some time off to go back home to be at her side.
Depends on which options I take it can either make me emotionally unstable and conceive more grudge in me or it can give me hope and encouragement.
Since I choose to believe that God is still good, I guess it'll be wiser to take option 2. That even though things are not going well now, eventually God will make His face shine upon me again...
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Discerning God’s Will
When I come face to face with an obstacle, how do I know whether it is something God wants me to overcome, by waiting patiently and persevering or whether it is a door God has closed and He wants me to go elsewhere?
Recently I had the opportunity to talk to a few people and listened to how God guided them back to Malaysia. Many of them felt that God wanted them to come back. In some cases God closed the doors and they had to come back. Some came back because of the situation back here in Malaysia.
In my case, I came back because 1) there were some projects that I’ve been pursuing for the past few years and I was hoping to see them bear fruit; and 2) I felt God wanted me back through a series of “coincidence” in Church and in a Mission Conference.
And since I thought that it was God’s will to come back, I didn’t even try to check whether any other doors were open in Korea, less I see an opportunity and my heart was tempted to stay back.
My fear is that what if I rationalized 2) to become God’s guidance just because I wanted 1) to be successful? What if God left many doors unlocked in Korea but I was so blinded by my own desire that I didn’t realize it?
Of course before I made my decision I asked many people to pray for me and none seemed to object my decision, though many of my church friends wanted me to go back soon to serve in the church ministry.
But now I’m disappointed and discouraged by how things are happening here. And I don’t know what move to make since I can’t discern between an obstacle to overcome and a closed door to turn away from.
Probably my only guideline is like what my brothers in cell told me: “leave when I have the peace of leaving” or “go when I have the peace of going”.
Recently I had the opportunity to talk to a few people and listened to how God guided them back to Malaysia. Many of them felt that God wanted them to come back. In some cases God closed the doors and they had to come back. Some came back because of the situation back here in Malaysia.
In my case, I came back because 1) there were some projects that I’ve been pursuing for the past few years and I was hoping to see them bear fruit; and 2) I felt God wanted me back through a series of “coincidence” in Church and in a Mission Conference.
And since I thought that it was God’s will to come back, I didn’t even try to check whether any other doors were open in Korea, less I see an opportunity and my heart was tempted to stay back.
My fear is that what if I rationalized 2) to become God’s guidance just because I wanted 1) to be successful? What if God left many doors unlocked in Korea but I was so blinded by my own desire that I didn’t realize it?
Of course before I made my decision I asked many people to pray for me and none seemed to object my decision, though many of my church friends wanted me to go back soon to serve in the church ministry.
But now I’m disappointed and discouraged by how things are happening here. And I don’t know what move to make since I can’t discern between an obstacle to overcome and a closed door to turn away from.
Probably my only guideline is like what my brothers in cell told me: “leave when I have the peace of leaving” or “go when I have the peace of going”.
When God is Against Me, Who Can be for Me?
It’s been 1 month and a half since I left Korea and exactly a month since I came back from my Indochina Trip. I thought that after my trip upon arriving back in KL things will have been more settled and I’ll be sure of my working relationship with my company. But apparently nothing has changed and I’m still in a mess.
Lately I’m frustrated and truth be told there seems to be some bitterness in me against God. To some extend it feels like God is against me and I feel a bit betrayed. Initially my only reason of coming back was because of the work, but in Sep last year when I attended theplan09 camp I thought God was calling me back as well. Thus I had 2 reasons to come back, one for the work and another for God.
However ever since I came back here nothing has gone well. The business is still in a mess. I’ve been meeting new people almost every week but to no avail. I tried to settle down fast so that I can serve in Church but it seems that that’s not God’s plan. In fact, I don’t know what His plan is. He has been silence to my prayers ever since I came back. I prayed and was hoping that my contract with the company will be settled even while I was back in Korea, but till now nothing is solid yet. I wanted to look for a place more convenient to settle down but the room I wanted was taken up by someone 1 hour after I left the house.
Through all this I don’t know which theological stand to take. One side says that God has a perfect plan for us and we should wait patiently and persevere to find out what His plan is. Another side says that as long as we’re within God’s boundary we can do what we want, as long as we follow His command.
If it was the first case, then either I’m in the right path but I need to have more patience and persevere more in order to wait upon Him and know His will. Or, maybe where I am now wasn’t God’s initial perfect plan for me but I rationalize it to be His plan because I was so eager to see the business and projects becoming successful and that’s why I’m suffering.
If it was the second case, then no matter what I do it doesn’t matter, as long as I follow the big outline and guideline that He has set for us. Whether I continue to wait in patience to see the project bear fruit or I find another company in Malaysia or go back to Korea it doesn’t matter so long as I serve Him faithfully wherever I am.
One thing that I think I did right was probably to settle down in church and with a cell group first even though I don’t know what my next step will be. It’s amazing to see how many of the cell members went through similar paths and I’m grateful for all the kindness and encouragement that my brothers and sisters have shown me.
Lately I’m frustrated and truth be told there seems to be some bitterness in me against God. To some extend it feels like God is against me and I feel a bit betrayed. Initially my only reason of coming back was because of the work, but in Sep last year when I attended theplan09 camp I thought God was calling me back as well. Thus I had 2 reasons to come back, one for the work and another for God.
However ever since I came back here nothing has gone well. The business is still in a mess. I’ve been meeting new people almost every week but to no avail. I tried to settle down fast so that I can serve in Church but it seems that that’s not God’s plan. In fact, I don’t know what His plan is. He has been silence to my prayers ever since I came back. I prayed and was hoping that my contract with the company will be settled even while I was back in Korea, but till now nothing is solid yet. I wanted to look for a place more convenient to settle down but the room I wanted was taken up by someone 1 hour after I left the house.
Through all this I don’t know which theological stand to take. One side says that God has a perfect plan for us and we should wait patiently and persevere to find out what His plan is. Another side says that as long as we’re within God’s boundary we can do what we want, as long as we follow His command.
If it was the first case, then either I’m in the right path but I need to have more patience and persevere more in order to wait upon Him and know His will. Or, maybe where I am now wasn’t God’s initial perfect plan for me but I rationalize it to be His plan because I was so eager to see the business and projects becoming successful and that’s why I’m suffering.
If it was the second case, then no matter what I do it doesn’t matter, as long as I follow the big outline and guideline that He has set for us. Whether I continue to wait in patience to see the project bear fruit or I find another company in Malaysia or go back to Korea it doesn’t matter so long as I serve Him faithfully wherever I am.
One thing that I think I did right was probably to settle down in church and with a cell group first even though I don’t know what my next step will be. It’s amazing to see how many of the cell members went through similar paths and I’m grateful for all the kindness and encouragement that my brothers and sisters have shown me.
Tuesday, February 02, 2010
Last Month as an Undergraduate
Exactly 2 months after my previous post and also my final month as an undergraduate.
Quite a lot of things happened, internally and externally.
It seems that my life's philosophy has changed a bit.
Up till 2 months ago I told one of my friend that I'd act according to reason rather than emotion.
2 months later I find that I care more about my feeling rather than my reasoning.
But anyway, it's not the time to do anything.
Was back in Malaysia for my business trip from Jan 11-25.
Met a lot of real estate agents, Nelson's Cup in Corn's founder and Sarawak Tourism Board.
Still not sure whether any of the projects will be successful though. It is all in God's hand.
Started my swimming lesson yesterday and fitness centre today.
I'll only be able to go for both of it until Feb 20 because my family will be here.
I want to gain some weight, but from my observation, after an hour's swim I loss about 200g-500g ㅠ.ㅠ
We'll see what happens after a week.
Quite a lot of things happened, internally and externally.
It seems that my life's philosophy has changed a bit.
Up till 2 months ago I told one of my friend that I'd act according to reason rather than emotion.
2 months later I find that I care more about my feeling rather than my reasoning.
But anyway, it's not the time to do anything.
Was back in Malaysia for my business trip from Jan 11-25.
Met a lot of real estate agents, Nelson's Cup in Corn's founder and Sarawak Tourism Board.
Still not sure whether any of the projects will be successful though. It is all in God's hand.
Started my swimming lesson yesterday and fitness centre today.
I'll only be able to go for both of it until Feb 20 because my family will be here.
I want to gain some weight, but from my observation, after an hour's swim I loss about 200g-500g ㅠ.ㅠ
We'll see what happens after a week.
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